8 Ways to determine if you're woke

Being woke snot a joke. In fact, being woke is never having to say, "let's discuss that," or "I forgive you."

The so-called woke culture has become incredibly prevalent in our society and has attacked every aspect of our free expression and our history. The woke feels good about itself and superior to even the most auspicious heroes from the past. Generally, the key complaint lodged against the un-woke is the label of "racist." And the beauty of the label is that it can be "discovered" in anything the woke wishes to find it.

How do you know if you're woke? Well, here are 8 indicators to weigh in on:

1. You see Caucasian people, particularly White men, as racist. It doesn't need to be anything they've said or done; it's simply their skin color. A lacking of melanin is a sure sign of hating 'the other' and you don't need to dig deeper. 

If you're White and admit you're a racist, great--you are definitely a racist. If you claim you're not a racist, then you are an unredeemable racist and you need to be reprogrammed by Robin DiAngelo, a White woman who is an expert on the Black experience because she gives seminars on the topic and wrote a book.

2. You are offended by wealthy people, except for George Soros. You might be wealthy yourself, but who the hell do they think they are being famous as well as rich? The way you tend to deal with these racists is by proving they have said horrible things in the past on social media. Your best friend is the Wayback Machine and your hero is Bernie Sanders, who is so woke, he never had to work a full day in his life.

3. You find yourself angry over cartoons you used to think were okay. Racists like Dr. Seuss, the racists at Looney Toons, Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam really piss you off and you want to rid the world of them. You now read the comics avidly, looking for that gold racist nugget to cancel the bastards.

4. You believe that Antifa is really against fascism because their name says so and also that members of Black Lives Matter believe that mostly Marxist Black lives matter. 

When retired police captain David Dorn, a Black man, was murdered defending his friend's pawn shop during the BLM/Antifa riots in St. Louis, you were never told about this incident because you only watch CNN and MSNBC when you're not playing Splatterhouse. Had you been informed that these organizations were partially to blame for his death, a true woke person would be able to rationalize how it was the victim's fault.

5. You believe America was founded in 1619 when slaves were brought to this country rather than 1776. This also goes along with the belief that all successful White people are white supremacists . . . except for you. In spite of the fact that slavery still exists in many parts of the modern world, the real slavery was rooted in America and you can't be bothered to allow this lesser slavery bother you.

6. You believe society owes you a living and those who disagree are racists. This allows you and others to riot and take stuff from "the man" because he refuses to share and therefore does not believe in equity, a concept woke folk now use to make the case for an equal outcome for all, not an equal opportunity for equal outcomes.

7. You believe in free speech but only when it doesn't offend you and that you have the right to make others remain silent. You believe certain books send a racist message and you have the moral obligation to ban them and destroy them. This goes for the Bible too, since you can find racism in it. 

In fact, being woke is your religion.

8. You believe there are 57 genders and still counting, although you cannot name them all, and you believe that transgender "women" should be allowed to fight women in Mixed Martial Arts competitions. You see no problem with men beating the crap out of women as long as the men think they are women. This also goes for all sport competition because sport is merely a mind-over-body situation in your mind. 

You feel this way because nobody ever told you to your face that you are an idiot.

If any of these indicators pertain to you, it's very unlikely you've read this far, so I can safely say that you are not woke and that's a good thing.

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