Sunday, January 12, 2020

Gwyneth Paltrow's candles smell like her vagina, she says


Actress Gwyneth Paltrow knows what her vagina smells like and she's thrilling her fans with the opportunity to know too. How she knows is anyone's guess--did she use a hairdryer to blow the smell upward to her nostrils? Did someone tell her that what her vagina smells like? Does her vagina smell so strongly that she can smell it while standing up? Who knows? I don't know.

But for $75 a pop, you can smell her company's Goop candles and let that smell waft to your very own nostrils and think what you like. The name of her candle is "This Smell Like My Vagina." I mean it.

Paltrow first came across a scent at a local fish market that she said reminded her of the smell of her own vagina, she claims. The scent was then finalized for the “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle, which reportedly sold out within hours of its test run by lonely old men and people who identify as a man.

“This candle started as a joke between perfumer Douglas Little and GP — the two were working on a fragrance, and she blurted out, ‘Uhhh … this smells like a vagina.'” Again, it's unclear how the lovely actress gained familiarity of that odor, but that's a private matter.

The odor then “evolved into a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent,” according to the company's spokes-smeller.

“That turned out to be perfect as a candle — we did a test run … and it sold out within hours,” Goop bragged. “It’s a blend of geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed that puts us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth,” and had become a part of Ms. Paltrow's regular morning in which she takes each item and rubs it on her vagina.
In 2018 Goop settled a six-figure lawsuit surrounding their “vagina eggs,” which were prompted to help regulate females’ hormones and negate menstrual cramps, a promise that turned out to be as empty as Joy Behar's head. 

Ironically, Behar was the first person to purchase one of the candles.


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