North Korea's Winter Olympics team

The entire NoKo Winter Olympics team?

North Korea will be taking part in the Winter Olympics in Seoul, South Korea in spite of the hermit nation's friction with the rest of the world due to their nuclear ambitions.

At a meeting Tuesday at Panmunjom in the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ)--the first of its kind in two years--North Korean puppets (aka officials) agreed to send a delegation to next month's Winter Games in Pyeongchang, South Korea, as both countries try to improve relations after a year of anxiety over Kim Jong Un's incessant nuclear and ballistic missile tests.

The North Korean team will proudly march into Pyeongchang Olympic Stadium in early February and will consist of at least two athletes, the figure skating pair of Ryom Tae Ok and Kim Ju Sik. The team's motto is: "Everything is Ok and Sik."

If they don't come away with a medal, they may find themselves skating on Lake Manpo in March.

Ok and Sik are the only competitors from North Korea to qualify for the games before the country missed a confirmation deadline set around Halloween by the International Olympic Committee. 

The skaters have been training in Montreal under skating coach Bruno Marcotte, a former World Junior bronze medalist. He met the kids at the World Figure Skating Championships last year.

"They approached me and at first they just wanted some advice on what they should do to be a better team," Marcotte told the CBC. "But that led to an off-ice lift class."

While training in Canada, the North Korean skaters became friendly with a South Korean pair, Alex Kang-chan Kam and Kim Kyueun, who were also working with Marcotte.

"As we trained together for two months in Canada, we became close easily because we speak the same language," Kam told the CBC. "We rooted for each other and we said that we should meet in Pyeongchang."

Although the IOC said Monday that it has "kept the door open" for North Korea to take part in the games, it's unknown if any other North Korean athletes will be allowed to participate in the games.

The IOC has said on many occasions it wants North Korean athletes to take part in the games and provided equipment and assistance with travel to increase the chances Kim will allow them out of the country because if they're smart, they aren't coming back.

The "Overhead Armpit Huff"

In the spirit of the Olympic games, South Korea proposed a unified team of the two Koreas, with a team participating in women's ice hockey and perhaps other events, but North Korea refused last June allegedly due to time constraints, but more likely due to the likelihood that South Korean athletes would convince them how much North Korea sucks.

South Korean officials have given the North the chance to decide on participation at any time prior to the games officially beginning.

Kim Jong Un may think it's a trap.

Overall, North Korea sucks at winter sports and has won merely two medals in the entire history of Winter Olympics: a silver in women's speed skating in the 1964 games in Innsbruck, Austria, and a bronze in women's short-track speed skating in 1992 at Albertville, France.

NoKo short-track speed skaters and cross-country skiers didn't qualify for the 2018 games.

Rumor has it that Kim Jong Un has always dreamed of being a champion sumo wrestler but he was too fat compared to his muscle mass.

In 1988 North Korea boycotted the Summer Olympics in Seoul and to make attendance to the games less attractive, they blew up an airliner killing 115 people.

During the inter-Korean talks on Tuesday, the South proposed that North Korea send a big delegation and march with South Korean athletes during the opening and closing ceremonies that take place about 40 miles south of the line that separates the two countries.

Pyongyang officials said that in addition to the two figure skaters, the country plans to send cheerleaders, journalists and government officials (aka undercover agents--to ensure Ok and Sik don't defect) to the games.


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