Sexual Misconduct-free Award Ceremony

Hollywood's self-absorbed elite are getting ready for their self-aggrandizement awards, better known as the Oscars . . . unless Oscar, himself, is being brought up on sexual misconduct charges.

But anyway, the Governors Awards was here to kick off the narcissistic awards season as it handed its first Oscars to five people while not discussing the sex abuse scandals raging in the entertainment industry. This is the ninth annual Governors Awards by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

Those honored are currently scandal-free: Donald Sutherland, Owen Roizman, Agnes Varda, Alejandro G. Inarritu and Charles Burnett.

The non-inclusive celebration included such notable, currently scandal-free guests such as: Tom Hanks, Jake Gyllenhaal, Salma Hayek, James Franco, Emma Stone, Sarah Paulson, Robert Pattinson, Gary Oldman, Ben Stiller and the list goes on.

Those not in attendance were: Anthony Weiner, Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein, George Takei, Richard Dreyfuss, Ed Westwick, Jeremy Piven, Louis C.K., Jeffrey Tambor, Brett Ratner, Gary Goddard, Andy Dick, Andre Balasz, Oliver Stone, Steven Seagal, and James Toback.

Dustin Hoffman was there but although he stands accused of sexual misconduct, he made no mention of it and wanted to climb inside his own nether regions.

Gabby Hayes, Don Knotts and Andy Griffith were at the ceremony in memory. Those were better times, it seems.

In the spirit of denial, the topic of sexual misconduct never came up as Hollywood sought to distract the beautiful people in the audience by only discussing the five recipients the award.


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