"Come to North Korea--safer than London Bridge attacks"

North Korea is trying to get into the tourism business with Russia now that more sanctions have been imposed on the hermit nation after promising to rein fire and destruction on the United States.

They are saying that their dictatorship is 'safer than an evening walk in London' and what with the spate of terrorist attacks of late, they might be correct, much like the broken clock at the coincidental times twice a day.

NKOREAN.RU was launched in Russia with North Korea's approval. It's the first agency in Moscow offering tours to North Korea for "groups of up to 10 people or individuals to show the travelers the multi-faceted life of this most closed of countries," reports Reuters.

Before visitors begin their trip, they will be "checked" by North Korean officials, who will perform a complete cavity search to ensure the safety of all concerned.

Then they will be escorted by a tour guide "who will monitor the adequate behavior of the tourist and guarantee his safety," according to their website, begging the question as to whether women will also be allowed to visit. 

The most expensive tour costs about $1,997 and offers 15 days in the country as they experience "the full immersion in the culture of North Korea."

For example, tourists will learn how to realistically cry when an important government official dies, say, in a minefield or by a force majeure with an anti-aircraft gun, as a smiling Kim Jong Un watches the event through binoculars. 

The tour will also include traveling to a Buddhist temple, where prayer and worship are forbidden in the atheistic hermit nation. Some lucky tourists might even get to see government officials questioning Buddhist monks before dealing with them in other ways.

The Museum of North Korean Agriculture will be on the venue. No visitor is going to want to miss it as they witness a display of the nation's main vegetable and staple-- grass.

The high-end tour will include a visit to a mineral water factory, where North Korean scientists work round the clock in an attempt to discover ways of removing sediments and other impurities from the water. It is said they are merely several months away from perfecting the process.

The less expensive tour offers travelers a day at the beach and a beer festival featuring craft beers made from the waters of the mineral water factory.

 Tour guides will ensure all guests are made aware of anti-personnel mines along the beach put there by North Koreans for North Koreans.

American students are no longer welcome in North Korea, but that's okay--we always have Cuba if we want to see how Communists live. 


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