Tehran develops easier to light, slow-burning American flags

Now they need to develop a lighter that works

Tehran -- Now that the Trump administration has pulled out of the Iran nuclear deal, the Islamic Republic of Iran has announced that it had anticipated such an atrocious act and in response have developed an "easy to light, longer to burn" American flag.

Ayatollah Ahmad Khatami admitted the flag has been in the testing stage for several years, beginning when former President Obama showed them that they could have any deal they wanted as long as they had a deal. 

Now that President Trump "nixed" the nuke deal, they have decided to go public with the new, improved flaming American flags.

"They light up the night and provide us with warmth one can only receive from the glow of the 'Stars and Stripes'" Khatami said.

"Easy to light, longer to burn, impossible to put out," the Islamic cleric added.

The "holy man" is also quite upset with Donald Trump for declaring Jerusalem the capital of Israel by moving the U.S. embassy to the Jewish capital as outlined over three thousand years ago in the Old Testament. He threatened two Israeli cities with destruction if the Jewish state "acts foolishly" and attacks its interests again.

By attacking Iran's "interests" Khatami means the Iranian military forces that have launched a missile offensive on Israel in which the latter retaliated and kicked their unholy butts.



Tweet