Iran Discovers U.S. Navy Has Opinions About Being Shot At With A Tit-for-Tat

TEHRAN, IRAN: Iran apparently learned an important lesson about international diplomacy Saturday after the United States responded to Iranian ballistic missile attacks on American warships by blowing up three Iranian oil tankers.

We've a lot more tits than they have tats.

U.S. Central Command announced that two Iranian oil tankers had been “permanently disabled” and a third was “completely destroyed” after Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps, a designated terrorist organization composed of misguided Muslims who think they'll be getting 72 brown-eyed virgins rather than goats. They apparently decided that firing missiles at U.S. Navy ships was a reasonable foreign-policy strategy.

The IRGC may now wish to revisit that strategy.

“A U.S. aircraft carrier and guided-missile destroyer successfully evaded multiple unprovoked Iranian attacks. No American personnel were harmed,” CENTCOM said.

The United States then proceeded to make sure that some Iranian personnel had a considerably worse day.

U.S. forces “permanently disabled” the Iranian oil carriers MT Downy, located off the coast of Kharg Island, and MT Stark 1, which was struck near the Iranian coastal city of Jask.

The U.S. also “completely destroyed” the unladen crude oil carrier MT Kylo in the Gulf of Oman.

The Kylo, also known as the MT Noxen, was struck in “multiple critical locations to render it inoperable after the crew was directed to abandon ship.” This was the first time many of the crew bathed in months, reports say.

This is generally what happens when you fire ballistic missiles at American warships and discover that the other side has access to a calculator.

“The three Iranian crude oil tankers are part of a multibillion-dollar shadow network that funds the IRGC and its regional proxies. Iran has no means by which to defend them,” CENTCOM said. 

Iran's shadow fleet has apparently discovered that being a shadow fleet does not actually make a ship invisible. Perhaps we should consider not waiting for a tit-for-tat before destroying these type vessels.

“Let the message to the IRGC be clear: If you shoot at two of our ships, we will impose an even higher economic cost — taking out three of yours,” said CENTCOM commander Adm. Brad Cooper.

“We will not hesitate to defend American forces, and if necessary, destroy Iran’s limited and exposed oil fleet,” he added.

Iranian state-run Tasnim news agency had reported earlier Saturday that explosions were heard near Kharg Island, with an oil tanker, presumably the Downy, struck by four U.S. missiles.

Tasnim reported no casualties from the strikes, presumably because everyone involved had already received the helpful instruction to abandon ship and get the heck out of Dodge.

The strikes came after Iranian forces launched ballistic missiles at U.S. Navy warships patrolling in “regional waters.”

The two U.S. carriers currently deployed in the region are the USS George H.W. Bush and USS George Washington, which relieved the USS Abraham Lincoln two weeks ago.

The George Washington is reportedly sailing with a single destroyer escort, meaning Iran may have chosen to discover what happens when it picks a fight with a carrier group that is very much aware of what is happening.

For years, Iran has invested heavily in missiles, terrorism, proxy armies and a multibillion-dollar shadow oil network.

On Saturday, it apparently invested in three fewer oil tankers.

There are, one imagines, cheaper ways to learn that the United States Navy is still open for business and the United States of America is not a country to mess with.

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