Iranians protest against Trump's deal: happy birthday Mr. President

Dozens of Iranian citizens gathered Saturday night to remind the ruling mullahs that revolutionary bloodlust is a lot more fun when you’re not the ones getting blamed for losing a war.

The protesters, representing Iran’s hardline faction, assembled outside the Foreign Ministry office in Mashhad because apparently even authoritarian theocracies have their own version of angry cable news comment sections.

According to footage published by the state affiliated Fars News Agency, demonstrators called for the death of Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi after he committed the unforgivable offense of hinting that maybe getting vaporized by the United States indefinitely isn’t a long term strategic plan.

Araghchi recently posted on X that a deal with the United States is “closer than ever,” which in Iran’s hardline circles is roughly the equivalent of announcing you’ve joined a vegan drum circle in Berkeley.

The crowd chanted, “Death to dishonorable Araghchi, the compromiser,” while demanding his immediate resignation, because nothing says stable governance quite like public death chants aimed at your own cabinet officials. At least they didn't throw stones at him.

At a separate rally outside the Foreign Ministry in Tehran, protesters demanded that Parliament Speaker and chief negotiator Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf resign alongside Araghchi. It turns out the “Death to America” crowd gets very cranky when America survives.

Others at the Tehran demonstration shouted, “Araghchi, what about my leader’s blood?” in reference to Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, who was killed during the opening strikes of the Iran war back in February. As it turns out, martyrdom sounds a lot more inspirational in speeches than it does when your side is the one collecting the martyrs.

Hossein Shariatmadari, editor of the regime mouthpiece Kayhan newspaper, blasted the reported terms of the prospective deal, particularly the possibility of Iran reopening the Strait of Hormuz. In his view, threatening to torch the global economy remains Tehran’s best negotiating tactic, which is sort of like insisting the guy waving a gas can around should really be taken more seriously.

Iranian lawmaker Mohammad Mannan Raisi also condemned the memorandum of understanding expected to be signed Sunday, claiming it violates the red lines established by the late Khamenei. The Iranian regime spent decades insisting America was weak and decadent, only to arrive at the negotiating table furious that America didn’t politely lose.

Raisi urged Iranian leaders to show “a bit of honor” and reject any agreement with President Donald Trump, whom he described as the “killer” of Khamenei. Which is probably not the sort of nickname Trump minds seeing on a campaign poster.

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