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WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning development that has left millions of Americans pretending to be surprised, former Democratic fundraiser Lindy Li [not to be confused with Lucy Lu] announced she will soon reveal the identities of party insiders who allegedly knew President Joe Biden was struggling cognitively while simultaneously assuring the public he was operating at peak mental performance.
Li, who has since fled the Democratic Party like a passenger spotting smoke in the cockpit, says her upcoming book Unburdened will expose a cast of political figures who privately worried about Biden's condition while publicly insisting that videos of him wandering off, freezing mid-sentence, and shaking hands with invisible people were merely examples of his unique leadership style.
"Whatever was out there, it wasn’t the truth. They wanted him to go, and also in my book, I will be telling people exactly who was aware of Biden’s cognitive decline but pretended otherwise," Li told Fox News Digital. [It's like blowing the lid off the aluminum siding industry, eh.]
According to Li, the Democratic establishment spent years perfecting the difficult art of watching the same events as everyone else and then claiming those events never happened.
One of the names reportedly appearing in the book is the execrable Sen. Adam Schiff, who allegedly expressed concerns privately while maintaining public support until Biden's debate performance made denial roughly as credible as insisting a raccoon was qualified to perform open-heart surgery.
"I remember getting a text from Schiff," Li said.
"I have it in my book. Basically, Adam Schiff was — I can’t remember what he said on TV, but I’m telling you right now that behind the scenes he very much wanted [Biden] to go."
A spokesperson for Schiff responded by noting that Schiff eventually voiced concerns publicly after Biden's now-famous debate performance, which featured several moments that caused viewers to wonder whether their television signal had frozen.
"The Senator’s concerns and call on President Biden to not run was very public, so none of this is news," the spokesperson said.
Li claims many Democrats remained silent because challenging Biden would have been politically dangerous, particularly after party polling suggested that no rival had enough support to overcome the incumbent. In other words, they put personal ambitions ahead of the security of the nation.
"They didn’t want to get ostracized by the party. It’s like the axiom: you come at the king; you better not miss. Everyone would have missed," Li said.
Party insiders reportedly concluded that opposing Biden was a risky proposition, especially when access to donor money, committee assignments, and favorable media coverage hung in the balance.
"There are many candidates who polled themselves against Biden and then realized that they couldn’t beat him in a primary. It wasn’t a matter so much of anti-Trumpism. It was self-interest," Li said.
"I’ve seen the polling data, and I also include that in my book, polling no one has seen before."
Li also claims internal polling suggested that Vice President Kamala Harris was viewed as a weak successor, despite years of media coverage assuring Americans she was both historically groundbreaking and universally beloved.
"She was the weakest candidate in the field," Li said.
"I also have polling data right before Kamala ascended. We stacked her against Buttigieg, Newsom, Shapiro, Whitmer — all of them," Li said.
Political analysts say the revelations confirm what many voters had suspected: that the greatest bipartisan achievement of the Biden era may have been convincing a large portion of Washington to ignore what millions of Americans could plainly see on their television screens.
Still, Li insists the story is more complicated than simple political calculation. She says Biden's personal relationships inspired genuine loyalty among longtime allies.
"He had decades of loyalty, his bond with people like James Clyburn," Li explained.
"There’s something about Joe Biden. He was incredibly kind," Li said.
At press time, Democratic strategists were reportedly scrambling to determine whether claiming they had always been concerned about Biden's condition might be more politically viable than insisting once again that videos of Biden appearing confused were actually sophisticated right-wing deepfakes.
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