EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin Celebrates As Trump Declares Victory Over The Climate Apocalypse That Was Totally Going To Kill Us All, Probably

Lee Zelding and President Trump

WASHINGTON—In a stunning development that has coastal elites reaching for their reusable straws and therapy dogs, President Donald Trump took a victory lap Saturday after scientists quietly admitted that one of their favorite doomsday global warming scenarios was about as accurate as a Hillary Clinton email server.

"Good riddance! After 15 years of Dumocrats promising that 'Climate Change' is going to destroy the Planet, the United Nations TOP Climate Committee just admitted that its own projections (RCP8.5) were WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!" Trump wrote on Truth Social. 

The president accused Democrats of using climate fears the way a used car salesman uses "low mileage" to scare people into buying something expensive and unreliable.

"For far too long Climate Activism has been used by Dumocrats to scare Americans, push horrible Energy Polices, and fund BILLIONS into their bogus research programs," he continued. "Unlike the Dumocrats, who use Climate Alarmism nonsense to push their GREEN NEW SCAM, my Administration will always be based on TRUTH, SCIENCE, and FACT!"

Trump’s comments came after climate scientists finally started phasing out the IPCC’s most extreme emissions fairy tale, the one that predicted cities underwater, crops failing like a vegan barbecue, and basically a real-life dinosaur extinction event but with more Priuses. The scenario, known as RCP8.5 (or SSP5-8.5 for those who like their acronyms extra spicy), assumed humanity would keep burning coal like it was going out of style while ignoring every trend toward cheaper renewables and actual emissions data.

Researchers, writing in a journal that sounds like it was named by a thesaurus, basically said: "Yeah, this high-end nightmare fuel is now implausible."

"For the 21st century, this range will be smaller than assessed before: on the high-end of the range, the high emission levels (quantified by SSP5-8.5) have become implausible, based on trends in the costs of renewables, the emergence of climate policy and recent emission trends."This comes after Trump called climate change "the greatest con job ever perpetrated on the world" at the U.N. last September.

"It's the greatest con job ever perpetrated on the world, in my opinion," Trump said at the time. "All of these predictions made by the United Nations and many others, often for bad reasons, were wrong."

"They were made by stupid people that have cost their country's fortunes and given those same countries no chance for success," he continued.

Naturally, this triggered the usual suspects. 

Former Secretary of State and failed presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton, emerged from whatever wine cellar she was haunting to denounce the remarks as "total disinformation."

"You know yesterday at the U.N., President Trump said, ‘Climate change is a hoax,’ because it’s just total disinformation," Killery said during the Clinton Global Initiative in New York. "It’s a statement that is just not true, and yet being propagated."

EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin, however, backed the president. 

"The president is absolutely right and we've seen it in the name of climate change, these left wing policies willing to cause extreme economic pain for people who can at least afford it," Zeldin said.

Sources close to the climate cult confirmed they are now working on a brand new, even scarier model that will definitely be right this time, guys. Just trust the science. 

And remember to recycle your guilt.

Thank you for following Brain Flushings. Please take time to simply check out the sponsors on this page--it's one way to support my work. Of course, you can Buy Me A Coffee if you want to support me directly. Finally, don't be afraid to subscribe if you enjoy the blog--it's free, and worth the cost.

Tweet