Oxford Union Prez Booted for Giggling Over Charlie Kirk's "Assassination." His Meltdown? Chef's Kiss.

If there's one thing the perpetually offended brigade can't do, it's tie their own shoelaces without tripping into a full-blown existential crisis. Over in jolly old England, where the tea's hot but the takes are ice-cold the brain trust at the Oxford Union just got rid of their president-elect, George Abaraonye, faster than you can say "Brexit regret." The genius decided to laugh his way through what he thought was Charlie Kirk catching a bullet on September 10. 

See, after the dust-up, Abaraonye, ever the bold strategist, rammed through a no-confidence vote to clear his name. Big brain move, except for the fact it backfired like a faulty firework at a Guy Fawkes bash. The membership didn't just vote him out; they steamrolled him with a two-thirds supermajority. And when the ballots dropped, our boy didn't take the L gracefully. He went full 2020 election denial mode, screaming "voter fraud!" from the rooftops. You can't script this level of self-own (hat tip to the BBC for the deets):

The president-elect of the Oxford Union has lost a no-confidence vote after he was criticised for comments appearing to celebrate the death of Charlie Kirk.The motion against George Abaraonye had met the required two-thirds threshold to oust the student from his position, the society has announced.It comes after Mr Abaraonye reportedly posted on social media to seemingly welcome the attack on the US conservative activist in September.Mr Abaraonye is disputing the no-confidence vote, telling the BBC people campaigning to oust him had "unsupervised access" to the email account collecting proxy ballots.According to the Telegraph, Mr Abaraonye posted a message on Instagram which read "Charlie Kirk got shot loool" - an elongated version of the phrase 'lol' which means 'laughing out loud'.He is also said to have posted in a WhatsApp chat with fellow students appearing to welcome the incident.Last week, Mr Abaraonye said he had submitted the motion of no confidence in himself, with voting taking place over the weekend.A notice published by extraordinary returning officer Donovan Lock on Tuesday said 1,228 ballots were cast in favour of no confidence, while 501 were against.

"Charlie Kirk got shot loool." I mean, come on, that's not commentary; that's the digital equivalent of cackling at a funeral while wearing a "Thoughts and Prayers" t-shirt ironically. And then, when the Union turns on him like a pack of caffeinated midgets, he pivots to conspiracy theories about "unsupervised access" to emails? Dude, you're at Oxford. If you can't rig a student poll without getting caught, maybe stick to crumpets and call it a day.

This is peak elite hypocrisy: Trash-talk a conservative icon's brush with death (or whatever fever dream they cooked up), then play the victim when the mob you helped radicalize comes for you. Abaraonye's out, the Union's probably drafting a safe-space memo as we speak, and somewhere in heaven, Charlie Kirk's raising a glass to another win by default. 

Moral of the story? Don't poke the bear unless you want to end up as the punchline. Cheers to that, lads.

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