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The Defense Intelligence Agency’s super-secret report claiming Iran’s nuclear sites took a mere flesh wound from U.S. strikes is a steaming pile of bad intel, peddled by Iranian liars and lapped up by a gullible DIA, according to a cadre of ex-spooks. One of them didn’t mince words: the document’s so worthless, “you can wipe your ass with it.” He wasn't specific as to which ass he was referring to, but Jasmine Crockett is high on the list.
When President Trump green-lit precision strikes on Iran’s top three nuclear facilities, the DIA’s classified assessment sparked a media circus. Leaked to CNN and the New York Times, it was hyped as a shocking reveal that the U.S. bombing only delayed Tehran’s nuclear dreams by a few months, because the leftist media seems to hate Trump more than they hate our enemies.
Cue the headlines, cue the hand-wringing.
But the report was “low-confidence,” a detail CNN conveniently refused to mention, built on shaky satellite imagery and intercepted Iranian chatter, or SIGINT. It turns out, those intercepts were likely Tehran’s military feeding BS to their own leaders, downplaying the carnage, per Axios. That dodgy information wormed its way into the DIA’s report, say three former U.S. intel operatives, a current official, and other natsec vets who dished to the Washington Free Beacon, some off the record. They weren’t kind, calling the DIA the “discount intelligence agency.”
“It’s basically messaging by the [Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps], messaging by Tehran,” said Michael Pregent, a former intel officer with nearly three decades in the Middle East. “DIA is taking a SIGINT report from the National Security Agency ... and putting together an assessment to leak. I know it’s messaging, the Iranians know it’s messaging, and for some reason, NSA believes it’s actual f**king intelligence.”
A current U.S. official, in the loop on the damage assessments, said the DIA’s take, and CNN’s “partisan hit job,” got “completely debunked” in the last 24 hours, including by the International Atomic Energy Agency. “It has now been established by the IAEA that Iran’s nuclear program suffered ‘enormous damage’ and the ‘centrifuges ... are completely destroyed,’” the official told the Free Beacon. “The military operation carried out by the United States was a huge success and we are grateful to our troops who valiantly carried out the president’s mission.”
CIA boss John Ratcliffe piled on, saying the agency’s “historically reliable and accurate source/method” confirmed Iran’s key nuclear sites were obliterated, facing years of rebuilding.
Another former spy called the DIA’s report “embarrassing,” saying its analysts didn’t have a clue about Fordow, Iran’s mountain bunker buried under 300 feet of concrete. “You’re not going to see a huge hole down to Hell,” the guy said, speaking on background. “You’re not going to see that they dropped these bombs in specific locations so that they would detonate well underground, because it was such a deeply buried facility.”
The source added: “It’s clear that those people had no idea what they were talking about, and I agree with the fact that undoubtedly all these [Iranians] knew their phones were being monitored by multiple countries and acted accordingly. So, nothing that they said should have been used as any sort of gospel.”
Unless you're the former newspaper NY Times or CNN. They simply cannot allow Trump to prevail.
The DIA’s own “low-confidence” label makes the report a laughingstock. “The fact that the DIA’s assessment was deemed ‘low-confidence’ means that you can wipe your ass with it,” the ex-operative quipped. “You probably get more information from a Free Beacon article,” [or IKEA instructions].
A third former official, steeped in Iran intel, agreed the DIA swallowed “Iranians repeating propaganda to each other, as they have done throughout the war and preceding preparations.”
Sen. Tom Cotton (R-AR) told reporters the DIA’s report was “preliminary” and riddled with “numerous intelligence gaps,” fresh off a Thursday briefing with Trump admin brass.
Michael Rubin, ex-Pentagon adviser, slammed DIA’s habit of drinking their targets’ Kool-Aid [aka piss water].
“There’s a long pattern within the DIA in which analysts listen so much to their targets that they actually start to rationalize, if not believe them,” said Rubin, now at the American Enterprise Institute. “This is why so many DIA Middle East analysts become outspoken conspiracy theorists or advocates for normalizing ties with groups like Hamas and Hezbollah. Too much Iran leads to becoming analytically, if not morally, unhinged.”
Rubin figures the leak came from a DIA analyst itching to “write the first draft of history” before the report’s flaws were exposed.
Simone Ledeen, former deputy assistant secretary of defense, didn’t hold back. “At a fundamental level, a lot of our analytic corps needs to be completely destroyed and rebuilt,” she told the outlet. “A lot of these people are coming from you know which schools, so they’re totally indoctrinated and they don’t know what they’re talking about because they’re not properly educated anyway.”
A senior DIA official, caught flat-footed, insisted the report wasn’t meant for public eyes and promised to hunt down the leaker. “This is a preliminary, low-confidence assessment, not a final conclusion, and will continue to be refined as additional intelligence becomes available,” the official said. “We have still not been able to review the physical sites themselves, which will give us the best indication. We are working with the FBI and other authorities to investigate the unauthorized disclosure of classified information.”
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