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Leave it to Keith Olbermann, the perpetually unemployed basement-dweller, to pick a fight with a champion like Riley Gaines, host of Gaines for Girls on OutKick.com. Spoiler alert: it didn’t end well for the guy who’s been fired more times than a circus cannon.
Olbermann, who seems to think tweeting snark from his mom’s basement qualifies as a personality, decided to take a swing at Gaines’ athletic record after Education Secretary Linda McMahon pointed out that Gaines might’ve clinched a race if not for a biological male competing. Olbermann, ever the keyboard warrior, fired off this gem:
“She finished 85th in the Olympic Trials,” the loser sneered. “She finished tied for 5th in the only race including a transgendered athlete. If there had been none, she MIGHT have finished tied for 4th, or had 5th place to herself.”
Then, because he can’t resist stepping on his own rake, he added: “[Gaines] was, somehow, a worse swimmer than she is a MAGA stooge.”
What a dork.
Big mistake, Keith. You don’t poke a lioness with a stick and expect to walk away unscathed. Gaines, a former NCAA swimming star, clapped back with the kind of precision that’d make a sniper jealous. She pointed out she was 15 during those Olympic trials.
“And I placed 5th in the nation in a sport measured in .01s of a second without going a best. Would you say the 5th-best college football player is objectively bad at their sport?” she fired back. Then came the knockout: “No. You’re just a misogynistic pig [and] an old, deranged man with a terminal case of TDS who can’t hold down a job.”
Boom! That’s gonna leave a mark.
And she’s totally on the money about him. Olbermann’s resume reads like a rap sheet of terminations like Fox Sports, Current TV, ESPN (twice, because once wasn’t enough), and MSNBC/NBC. The man’s been canned so often he probably lists “professional firing victim” on his LinkedIn.
Not content to let him slink away, Gaines upped the ante, telling Fox News Digital she’d race Olbermann for charity. At first, she hesitated, and for good reason: “I’d challenge [Keith] to a race where the loser puts up $ to the charity of the winner’s choice, but no one wants to see him in a Speedo.”
Fair point because the mental image alone is enough to make you want to bleach your brain. But Gaines, being the class act she is, threw down the gauntlet anyway—a 200-yard freestyle for a good cause. Olbermann, predictably, scurried back to his cave, dusted the Cheeto crumbs off his keyboard, and tweeted this pathetic dodge:
“This is a brilliant idea [Riley]! A 66-year-old man with an arthritic left knee and chronic stress fractures in the right foot,” he whined. “Somebody you could finally beat!”
So shut up, Keith. Nice try. Even in your glory days, if you ever had any, you’d have been lapped by Gaines before you could say “unemployment check.” Let’s talk credentials. Gaines? A decorated NCAA swimmer with a trophy case full of accolades: 2021 and 2022 All-SEC First Team, 2022 SEC Female Scholar-Athlete of the Year, and one of the most accomplished swimmers in Kentucky’s history. Olbermann? His greatest athletic achievement was reportedly smacking his head on a subway pole at Shea Stadium in 1980, leaving him too dazed to drive. True story.
This isn’t Olbermann’s first time getting schooled by a strong woman. He once tried to tangle with Megyn Kelly over her NBC exit, and she mopped the floor with him. “But the record is very clear that I left voluntarily because I wanted to raise my family,” Kelly shot back. “Something you don’t know anything about because no one would marry you.” She didn’t stop there: “And you have no children. You have a cold, lonely life in which you’ve become a bitter, bitter man.”
He probably went back to the basement and cried quietly into his cat-pissed sofa.
And now, here’s Olbermann, still bitter, still deranged, shouting into the void, desperate for clout by attacking a woman with more talent in her pinky than he’s got in his entire rant-filled existence. Riley Gaines isn’t just a better athlete—she’s a better human. And Keith? He’s just a sad, jobless troll who keeps picking fights he can’t win. Keep swinging, buddy. You’re only knocking yourself out.
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