Nonbinary douche bag snatcher to appear in court to face theft charges

Nonbinary [a term for a gender identity that is not solely male or female and lie outside the gender binary and fall under the transgender umbrella] former senior Department of Energy (DOE) official Sam Brinton, is scheduled to appear in front of a judge on Wednesday to face charges stemming from a September baggage claim theft. 

Brinton was charged with stealing a woman's luggage valued at $2,325 last October by the baggage claim area at Minneapolis St. Paul Airport (MSP) on Sept. 16. 

According to a criminal complaint filed in a Hennepin County court, Brinton faces up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine as a result of the incident. But the chances of him/her/she/it, a former Biden official, actually spending any time in the slammer is on par with the same happening to Hunter Biden. However, this can possibly happen and we will soon know the answer.

The hearing was originally slated for Dec. 19, but was delayed to Feb. 15 after a request from Brinton's defense counsel who was finding him or herself. 

The judge presiding over the case, however, rejected multiple requests from defense lawyers to allow Brinton to attend the hearing remotely, arguing Brinton was in the midst of dealing with "employment issues" and that the case had garnered substantial media attention.

The judge is also refusing to allow Brinton to bring a human posing as his pet dog to court. 

It is unclear whether Brinton will be identifying as a man or a woman in court, but we are all waiting with baited breath.

"The current District Policy does not allow for remote appearances to be conducted for Felony 1st Appearances on the Property Drug Calendar with the only exception given to inmates in the custody of the Department of Corrections of the State of Minnesota," Judge Gina Brandt wrote to Brinton's lawyers in December. "Therefore, I must deny your request again."

This sicko was a top Biden pick

Hearing the news of the judge's refusal, Brinton had a hissy fit and stamped his or her or its feet.

Meanwhile, police in Las Vegas reopened an unsolved case regarding the July 6 theft of a bag worth $3,670 at Lyin' Harry Reid International Airport. In light of the information, Nevada investigators "immediately recognized" Brinton "as the suspect pertaining to this case" and charged Brinton.

Brinton faces up to 10 years in the slammer for the alleged theft of the bag — which contained valued at $1,700, clothing worth $850 and makeup valued at $500 — in Las Vegas. What Brinton may have done in Vegas, may have him stay in Vegas.

In December, Brinton appeared at a court hearing in Clark County, Nevada, where attorneys agreed on bail in the case being set at $15,000. Brinton was also booked and released.

The DOE announced on Dec. 12 that for some unspecified reason, Brinton was gone. And while his or her or its departure was not provided to inquiring minds, Brinton's leaving came after the Nevada and Minnesota charges were given.

An attorney for Brinton did not offer any further information but was last seen searching for her briefcase.

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