Michael Avenatti will never be POTUS because he's going to do a 4-year bid for fraud

Former CNN presidential hopeful, Michael Avenatti, will never be President of the United States and Brian Stelter, along with the entire cast of the Comedy News Network, is sad to hear that Mike, as they called him, will be doing a 4-year bid in the joint. "At least that's one less than a nickel," Wolf Blitzer opined.

Disgraced lawyer lost his case for cheating his former client, sex performer Stormy Daniels, [aka Stephanie Gregory Clifford] out of $300,000. He was convicted of aggravated identity fraud and wire fraud in New York federal court earlier in the year and faced up to two years in prison for the first rap and 20 big ones for the second.

Thirty months will be served concurrently with the  two-and-a-half-year sentence sentence he was previously handed down in a case in which he tried to extort  the Nike Corp. out of $25,000,000. If he's smart, [doubtful] he'll be a sucker ducker in the joint and avoid the spider monkeys, if you know what I mean. 

Avenatti spoke after the sentencing and acknowledged the "series of mistakes" and "poor judgment" he made but never once mentioned CNN and his feelings for Brian Stelter.

"I will forever be branded ‘disgraced lawyer’ and worse," he said. [The 'worse' might be, for example: a-hole, scumcrumpet, slime-ball, and general turd.]

Ahead of sentencing, Avenatti had sent a letter apologizing to Daniels, but the judge said this gesture was "too little, too late." He did not send pictures of his genitalia nor did he ask her for one last chance.

Avenatti requested to be sentenced remotely but judge Furman denied the request, ordering him to appear.

"In the Court’s view, the gravity and significance of the sentencing proceeding would be ill served by a remote proceeding," Furman wrote.

For her part, Daniels took delight in the ruling, tweeting, ""See ya there, b--ch!... except I'm flying in first class. Buwahaha."

Avenatti rose to fame as the attorney for Daniels when she was trying to get out of an October 2016 agreement where she received $130,000 in exchange for her silence regarding her claim that she had an affair with former President Donald Trump in 2006. Trump has denied that the affair took place but who cares anyway? He's Trump and he does Trump things.

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Avenatti has an upcoming retrial in California federal court in a separate case in which he is accused of stealing nearly $10 million from five clients. A judge declared a mistrial in the first trial last August after prosecutors failed to turn over relevant financial evidence.

Keep your schadenfreude fingers crossed.

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