Joe tells US Naval Academy grads about his time as "Top Gun"

Annapolis, MD -- President Joseph Robinette Biden spoke to the US Naval Academy graduating class of 2022 on Wednesday and reminisced about his time at the Naval Academy where he graduated first in his class of midshipmen and went on to become a naval aviator. But not just a run-of-the-mill flyboy, but Top Gun.

"It was hard. Very hard, but I worked harder than the rest of my patriotic aviators and got into the Top Gun program in California, I believe. We flew, we drank and we made love to hot women we met at a bar. This was before I met Jill, of course. There's nobody hotter than Jill, and she's a doctor. When we make love, she makes me call her "Doctor Jill" and she calls my "Mister Vice President.

"Flying Top Gun was no picnic, but sometimes on nice days the guys would get together and actually have a picnic; I'm serious. We didn't have any women in the program when I flew, and there were no gays or transgender aviators. Just a bunch of two-fisted, tough-as-nails jet jockeys. I mean it.

"So we were assigned to fly a secret mission--I wish I could tell you about it but then I'd have to kill you.

"The admiral told us we might not come back home to the hot chicks at the bar or our wives or both. I'm not lying. 

"The problem was, the admiral couldn't speak--he had to type out the words he couldn't say into a machine, which I read and came to understand that this was 'goodbye' to my best friend, Icepack.

"The mission was to destroy an underground nuclear facility located in a canyon that we'd have to fly low into and laser-paint the sucker and follow up with a bomb to destroy the joint. I won't tell you where that facility was located, but I can tell you these were bad dudes who liked to sing 'Death to America. Death to Israel.'

"My call sign was "Brett Maverick" and I was assigned to follow up "Hummingbird" who would laser-paint the target and I would bomb the crap out of it, good Lord willing.

"My wingman was a dude whose call sign was 'Cornpop.' Bravest flyboy I ever knew, and we got in there like bats out of hell and did what America said we had to do.

Brett Maverick and Cornpop

"As we pulled back hard on our sticks to get over the mountain, Cornpop blacked out from the high gees and I knew I had to think quick. His F-19 was plummeting to Mother Earth faster than a speeding bullet, so I got my bird under his bird and used my thrust to shove his bird back up before disaster struck.

"We just made it. 

"Sadly, Cornpop is no longer with us. He's in the Big Airport in the sky.

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"I'm not gonna stand here and tell you graduates of this fine academy what the outcome was, but look around you and remember, we didn't go to war with that country whose name rhymes with dustpan.

"So get outta here and make America proud. Make your parents proud. And most of all, make me proud. Cornpop would've wanted that.

"God bless you. God bless me. God bless the US Navy."

And then President Biden was escorted off the stage.

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