NBC Think Tank has ingenious idea how USA can save on gas prices

"Word Salad Wanker"

We often do not give enough credit to the media for coming up with brilliant ideas that can make life better for all of us. 

Now with gas prices soaring with no end in sight, the beautiful minds at the Noodles Beans and Condoms network (NBC) have come up with an idea that is sure to save us all from the throes of economic perdition and financial ruin: just drive slower, walk if you can, or ride a bike, and dammit, quit complaining.

One of the network's tips was to try “avoiding jackrabbit starts” and “let your foot off the gas as early as possible” when approaching a red light. Also, if possible, find a route to your destination that is downhill both ways.

The braintrusts at NBC suggests you reduce your speed on the interstate and give yourself extra time, even extra days, to get to your destination. And if you don't really need to go there, stay home.

Another obvious option you can use would be the old "thumb a one-way" alongside the highway and let the kind sucker who took the chance you weren't going to kill him pay for the gas.

The Head of Petroleum Analysis at Gas Buddy, Pat de Haan, bragged about getting an extra 3 miles per gallon by reducing interstate speed by six miles per hour while causing several incidents of road rage that nearly got him killed. 

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So, if gas costs, say, $7.00 a gallon and you get an extra 60 miles in your 20 gallon tank that costs $140 to fill up, and you get 20 miles to the gallon, you've saved $21 and thus only pay $119 for a tank of gas. What a deal! The more gasoline costs, the more you save. Think of how lucky you will be if/when a gallon of gasoline hits $10.

Problem solved. So take that, Vladimir Putin.

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