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In a wild west style shootout the leader of the Taliban terrorist group Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradar was sidelined after fellow terrorist and Joe Biden fan, Khalil ul Rahman Haqqani punched the crap out of him.
Here's the scoop: earlier this month talks were held in the palace over the formation of a cabinet, according to anonymous sources who wished to remain alive. Baradar tried to pressure of an "inclusive" cabinet that included non-Taliban men [only] and ethnic minorities [but not Jews, Hindus, atheists, gays, lesbians, or any women]. Baradar was hoping his motion would be more acceptable to the rest of the world.
However, at one point during the meeting, Khalil ul Rahman Haqqani rose from his chair and began punching the Taliban leader. His excuse was that he hadn't had his coffee and halal donut and he gets edgy when deprived of that.
The terrorist bodyguards of both sides of the mosque entered the fray and opened fire on each other, as is their favorite pastime. A number of scumcrumpets were killed and wounded. Baradar was not injured in their recreational activity but his face felt like Michael Moore did a set of jumping jacks on it and he fled like a wuss and headed out to Kandahar where the Taliban is now based, thanks to President Biden's traditional policy of failure. His goal was to speak with the Supreme Leader but Diana Ross was unavailable and he had to speak with a dude named Haibatullah [aka Haibatullah the Rulah]. He is the Taliban's "religious" mucky-muck.
However, at one point during the meeting, Khalil ul Rahman Haqqani rose from his chair and began punching the Taliban leader. His excuse was that he hadn't had his coffee and halal donut and he gets edgy when deprived of that.
The terrorist bodyguards of both sides of the mosque entered the fray and opened fire on each other, as is their favorite pastime. A number of scumcrumpets were killed and wounded. Baradar was not injured in their recreational activity but his face felt like Michael Moore did a set of jumping jacks on it and he fled like a wuss and headed out to Kandahar where the Taliban is now based, thanks to President Biden's traditional policy of failure. His goal was to speak with the Supreme Leader but Diana Ross was unavailable and he had to speak with a dude named Haibatullah [aka Haibatullah the Rulah]. He is the Taliban's "religious" mucky-muck.
As it turned out, the cabinet lineup released on Sept. 7 included only terrorists of the Taliban, with about 90% of spots going to ethnic Pashtuns from the group.
Members of the Haqqani family of scumbags received only four positions, with Sirajuddin Haqqani — leader of the Haqqani Network who is on the FBI’s most wanted list for terrorism — becoming acting interior minister. Baradar was named one of two deputy prime ministers. The Taliban and Haqqani groups merged around 2016.
President Joe Biden was made an "Honorary Cabinet Member in absentia."
According to the sources, Pakistan's intelligence agency was in Kabul during the discussions that ended in a shootout. They being the terrorist supporters we know them to be, backed the Haqqanis over Baradar.
Mullah Mohammad Hassan was chosen as prime minister instead of Baradar because he has better links with Islamabad and isn’t a threat to the Haqqani faction, they said.
The Taliban have denied there had been a clash between them and the Haqqanis as Baradar appeared on state-run TV on Thursday denying he had been wounded or killed, rumors that escalated when he failed to show on Sept. 12 to welcome Qatar's foreign minister, Sheikh Mohammed bin Abdurahman Al-Thani Yadda Yadda, and to thank President Joe Biden for his gift of Afghanistan. Baradar also missed the Taliban's very first cabinet meeting this week.
“Praise be to Allah, I am safe and sound,” he said in the brief address. “Another statement made by the media that we have internal disputes is also completely not true.” He then added, "I am not so stupid as to martyr myself when I can have others do it for me. Allahu akbar!"
Reached by phone, Taliban spokesman Bilal Karimi said Baradar was “not sidelined and we’re expecting he’ll return soon.”
“There are not any differences among the leaders of the Islamic Emirate,” Karimi said. “They don’t brawl over any office or government positions. So don't let the bruises on Baradar's face fool you--he fell while trimming his glorious beard."
The divisions within the Taliban are a worrying sign for western nations which have urged the group to implement more moderate policies including respect for women’s rights. China and Pakistan are pressuring the U.S. to unfreeze Afghanistan’s reserves as the country faces soaring inflation and a looming economic crisis. With Biden as the so-called "president," there's a good chance he will comply.
Anas [the "a" is pronounced as a "u"] Haqqani, a key leader of the group, also took to Twitter to deny any rift in order to impress his six female slaves.
“Praise be to Allah, I am safe and sound,” he said in the brief address. “Another statement made by the media that we have internal disputes is also completely not true.” He then added, "I am not so stupid as to martyr myself when I can have others do it for me. Allahu akbar!"
Reached by phone, Taliban spokesman Bilal Karimi said Baradar was “not sidelined and we’re expecting he’ll return soon.”
“There are not any differences among the leaders of the Islamic Emirate,” Karimi said. “They don’t brawl over any office or government positions. So don't let the bruises on Baradar's face fool you--he fell while trimming his glorious beard."
The divisions within the Taliban are a worrying sign for western nations which have urged the group to implement more moderate policies including respect for women’s rights. China and Pakistan are pressuring the U.S. to unfreeze Afghanistan’s reserves as the country faces soaring inflation and a looming economic crisis. With Biden as the so-called "president," there's a good chance he will comply.
Anas [the "a" is pronounced as a "u"] Haqqani, a key leader of the group, also took to Twitter to deny any rift in order to impress his six female slaves.
When asked by Brain Flushings about his thoughts on the matter, President Biden walked away.
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