NASA announces first PC-LGBTQ spacewalk

The following is satire.

NASA announced Tuesday that the international Space Station's two cis women along with a transgender woman, a transgender man, a gay man, a lesbian, an African-American woman, an Asian, a Muslim woman, a Muslim man, a Native American transgender woman, an Indian, a small person, and a queer will be taking a diversity spacewalk when they all decide upon the best time.

After a small setback due to a lack of LGBTQ2+4-34/7 volunteers, NASA announced that the first politically correct spacewalk will commence later this month with a time to be announced.

Astronauts Christina Koch [absolutely no relation to the Koch brothers or former NYC Mayor, the late Ed Koch] and Jessica Meir [no relation to Golda Meir, the late, great Israeli Prime Minister], along with the rest of the diverse group, will venture out into the loneliness of space around October 21st, if they can all agree on the date and time. Ostensibly, the walk will be used to upgrade the Duracell batteries and the solar power system.

However, the first venture out will be Sunday whereby Koch will go out with Andrew Morgan, a cis male who will not be included in the diversity spacewalk.

One of the problems with the spacewalks for cis women is the spacesuits tend to be too large. NASA astronaut Anne McClain wore a large-sized spacesuit to conduct her first spacewalk but after seeing video of her adventure, she broke down in tears. "The suit made by ass look so large," she cried.

The new suits will be a sight to see: the transgender women's suits will be multicolored have gold glitter; the suit for the gay gentleman will fit perfectly and be quite stylish; the Native American spacesuit will have decorative red, white and blue feathers for epaulettes; the Muslim woman's suit will have a cloth helmet with a faux hairpiece in the rear of her head; the Muslim man's suit will have a external vest with canisters to hold cylindrical shaped objects; the queer person's suit will have a trap flap in back for emergencies; and the small person's suit will be short and small overall.

While NASA’s deputy chief astronaut Megan McArthur appreciates the cultural and diverse milestones that will be taking place leader this month, she urged reporters that women, transgender folks, gays, lesbians, African-Americans, Native Americans, Asians, Muslims and queers are well-represented in all-levels at NASA.

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