Ilhan Omar's district eliminates allegiance to the republic: 'it may offend'

The following is satire based on fact.

A city in Rep[ulsive] Ilahn Omar's (D-MN) 5th Congressional District voted this month to stop pledging allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

If that's offensive to anyone, they probably shouldn't live in the freest nation on the planet and should return to where they feel most comfortable.

The allegiance pledge will now be banned during St. Louis Park City Council meetings. 

The city council is also considering dropping the "St." in the St. Louis Park City Council as well, as it may also offend some people as it, of course, stands for "Saint" and that's just too Christian for their liking. So all saints are out and they are also seriously considering calling the city Mohammed Park City, to the absolute delight of Ilhan Omar.

It's unclear as to what or whom the city council will pledge their allegiance but they are considering colors for the flag and the one that seems the most attractive to them is black.

Annie Moribund al Shakira, a city council member, sponsored the unpatriotic change and has started a "GoFundMe--ScrewThem" page which has raised no money but spawned a lot of anger among Republicans, who are a minority in the town. They aren't allowed to speak in public nor attend public restaurants wearing MAGA hats or demonstrative tee-shirts advocating for the reelection of the "Orange Man." Other than that, they have full rights, as long as they don't use them in public.

"Not everyone who does business with the city or has a conversation is a citizen," al Shakira said. "They certainly don't need to come into city council chambers and pledge their allegiance to our infidel country in order to tell us what their input is about a sidewalk in front of their home."

City council member Mohamed bin Khamshapht bin Shaztmittfinklefuzz said, "I hope it’s not too controversial. Our community tends to be a very welcoming and increasingly diverse community, except for the lack of Jews, Hindus, Sikhs, Jains, Christians and Buddhists, and we believe our citizens will try to understand why we hate pledging allegiance to a country instead of a caliphate. Yeah, give us a caliphate and we will give you a pledge like no other pledge before."

Earlier this year Fox News reported that, according to FBI statistics, Omar's district is the terrorist recruitment capitol of the United States.

Fox News reported that "more men and boys from a Somali American community in Minneapolis have joined – or attempted to join – a foreign terrorist organization over the last 12 years than any other jurisdiction in the country."

Minnesota Senate Republicans were shocked that they didn't see this coming, but that's often what happens when your head is stuck somewhere else.

Allahu akbar!

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