Clownpocalypse solved

You pretend to like them and laugh at their antics; you even take your kids to see them at the circus, but your kids cry, and secretly, they scare the crap out of you. They even appear in your worst nightmares.

Clowns.

Not the kind of clowns that honk their horns and squirt you with seltzer, or ride unicycles while playing a little harmonica, or juggle or jam into Volkswagons with twenty colleague clowns. No, I'm talking about clowns that scowl and sneer sardonically and carry sharp cutting instruments and kill little kittens.

Evil, freaking clowns.

In Flomaton, Alabama a Clownpocalypse was finally solved by the local police. The not-so-funny reign of clown terror finally was squelched along with other areas down south.

Following a series of underwear-staining Facebook posts on the "Flomo Clown" page, (pictured below) authorities finally captured two juveniles and one adult on Thursday in connection with the incident in which a post appears to threaten violence at a local school.

The post even ordered the police to order a "soft lockdown" that forced students and teachers to shelter in place while authorities searched for the possible violent circus act.

However, no clowns were found but cops got enough information to issue several warrants.

Makayla Smith, the alleged clown "ringleader" was apprehended and will probably be charged with making a terrorist-type threat, said the Flomaton police on their Facebook page. Ms. Smith and her clown alley  are from Pensacola, Florida, according to information provided by authorities.

Officials have not stated whether Smith is connected to the Facebook page, which made credible threats that required immediate action from law enforcement and took to social media to calm the community and explain why it needed to impose the school lockdown.

The local police held a joint press conference with the FBI who became involved when they learned that the clowns in question had no involvement in the Clinton campaign. But like the former secretary of state, put people and property in danger from unknown threats.

Makayla Smith

The Flomaton incident is merely part of clown-related sightings that have terrified many communities across Georgia, Alabama and South Carolina over the past few weeks. It began in South Carolina with unconfirmed reports of clowns trying to lure children into the woods by an apartment complex by offering candy and money.

Soon Georgia began seeing copycat incidents with reports of clowns "driving around in a white van" in Athens, Georgia.

But it was Flomaton, Alabama that received the first clown-related threat (while at least some of the alleged clowns-gone-rogue were apparently from Florida).

Hopefully, the apprehension of Smith et al will put an end to the frightening Clownpocalypse are once again put some clowns in a better light, while others will always scare the crap out of us.

Honk.


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