ISIS low in cash, high in life

They used to give out Snickers with shots of Gator Aid along with the "Atta boy" pats on the back to those who would behead for ISIS, but now all they get for slashing a throat is salary slash in their camel-skin wallets.

What's a terrorist to do?

These guys used to mint their own money but thanks to the airstrikes of other countries that have destroyed their money and apparently their Snickers stash, Islamic State fighters are out of luck.

In order to make ends meet, they are making Raqqa residents pay utility bills in black market American dollars. In the game of Life Monopoly, they are releasing prisoners from their jails at $500 a head, no pun intended.

There is no Boardwalk.

The ISIS mujahedeen was making a good living before other nations destroyed their cash reserves. The salaries they were making were loyalty-inducing to a group of killers whose previous income came from renting out their livestock to desert travelers for their 'entertainment.'

Due to the absence of cash on hand, ISIS is trying out other means of making an honest buck--they are even turning to Libya.

In Raqqa, their so-called caliphate capital, salaries have been cut in half, electricity has been rationed, and inflation is the rule of the day.

Bernie Sanders is livid and says that "people like Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi should pay his fair share." 


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