If the justice who died was a Muslim

Scores of mourners came to Washington D.C.'s Islamic Center on Embassy Row to attend the funeral of Supreme Court Justice Mohammad bin Omar bin Khalid bin Mahmoud bin Ali bin Laden. 

Among the mourners, of course, was President Barack Hussein Obama and his muscular wife Michelle. 

The President was to be at a global security and environmental conference, but told MSNBC that this was a significantly more important event and nothing could make him forgo it.

Bin Laden, affectionately known in some circles as "Bin," was America's first Supreme Court justice to advocate for Sharia Law and the total revision of that ancient piece of papyrus known as the US Constitution.

President Obama, not known for showing emotion ("No Drama Obama" to his friend, David Axelrod) cried openly and loudly as the imam, affectionately known as "Imam Mohammad," spoke these words over the empty shell of his earthly body:

"Dear friends of Islam, I cannot say enough about our beloved departed Bin. He will be missed here on earth, but I know he's going to have a great time where he's going. I just hope he remembered to take along his Smartphone because he was never great at remembering names and he's going to have at least 72 to remember, if you know what I mean."

[The crowd laughed--the "72 Virgin Reference" always got a chuckle or two among Muslims.]

"Bin was not only a misunderstood Muslim Supreme Court Justice, he was also the butt of vast right wing conspiracy insults. You may remember how Donald Trump laughed and called him names. But Bin was above the ridicule--he knew that one day all the conservatives would get their comeuppance. 

"Can I get an 'Allahu Akbar."

As the president wept openly, Michelle, his testosterone-laden wife gently prodded him in the ribs, whispering softly, "Cut the crap, pussy."

The service lasted approximately two hours and government leaders throughout the Islamic world came to pay respect. 

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau went to the ground, head to earth, butt to sky.

Also praying for Bin's full allotment of virgins were: Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN), C. Jack Ellis (former mayor of Macon, GA), Nihad Awad (National Executive Director of the Council on American-Islamic Relations, aka CAIR), Ibrahim Hooper (National Communications Director of CAIR), Andre Carson (D-IN and no relationship to Dr. Ben Carson), and Farooq Kathwari (CEO of Ethan Allen Global--an American traditional furniture company with an Islamic bend). 

President Obama dried his tears and made a small eulogy:

"Supreme Court Justice Mohammad bin Omar bin Khalid bin Mahmoud bin Ali bin Laden, was a giant among justices. I had the honor of being one of those folks who called him 'Bin.'

"Bin never let the Constitution get in the way of his good moral judgment. He called law as he saw it, using the wisdom of Sharia in making his decisions. Those justices who disagreed with him did so out of fear and ignorance, and, if come November the Democrats once again take the White House, Inshallah, we will fundamentally change this nation .  .  .  thank you."

The service ended with a bang.

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