Obama Can Be a Perfect President and Fish Can Ride Bikes

ROFLMAO

Nobody is perfect and that includes our president, Barack Hussein Obama, or Barry, as his friends used to call him. Well, let's just say, especially Obama. But what if Barry was a perfect president? What would need to change?

Chevy Volt Zzzzzzzzt

First of all, he would need to be a man of integrity instead of a flaming hypocrite. He would drive a Chevy Volt a plug it in every 50 miles or so, and use wind power at the White House that pumps out enough power to light up an entire town along a loop of Lionel Train tracks.


  Our president would pay his fare share of taxes, as he wants the rich to pay, and not hold back money where he can find loopholes to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars, as he did last year. 


He would take a bus tour and actually take the bus on the actual tour instead of his Air Force One jet to the bus, and fly the buses on a C17 where he then took his million dollar Canadian bus for a mile into the town where he spoke. His listening tour would actually have him listen to people rather than pontificate--he is no pope, no way, no how. Oh, and to create American jobs, he might have the two million dollar buses made in America.

Voted Worst Dancing Racist of 2011

Second, Obama would be like Abe Lincoln and never lie. (I have my doubts about Lincoln, but I'll give him the benefit of those doubts and pretend he never lied.) For example, he would not tell lies such as the fact that he attended Jeremiah Wright's church for 20 years but never heard his sermons when he said such things like "Goddam America," and racist comments about white people and Jews. He would not say that Louis Farrakhan, Bill Ayers, and Bernadette Dohrn were not his friends even though they've met privately many times and they, along with the Rev. Wright (it must be easy to get Rev. in front of your name--look at Sharpton), have visited the White House. 

Obama's friend and Saviour

He would also not lie about what he thinks of Israel--Obama, like his friends Wright and Farrakhan, hates Israel and the Jews. In this vein, he would not make claims like "Islam is a religion of peace," because anyone with a brain who has read their holy moley texts, would know that Islam is a geopolitical "religion" of conquest,  that is anti-Semitic, anti-Christian, anti-gay, and misogynistic.


He would also tell the truth about his mother, who, he claimed that when she was dying of cancer, was unable to get insurance coverage for her treatment--truth was, she did get coverage and only had to pay a small monthly copay. 


Obama, who prides himself on Twittering and Facebook, and who, by the way, has lost the largest number of followers in the shortest period of time in the history of social networking, should have known that his facts would be checked and that he would not get away with his lies. But sometimes arrogance has a way of superceding intelligence--if Obama's ego was a separate person from him, it would be Michael Moore after a meal.


The third thing Obama would need to deal with to be perfect is the issue of blame. He needs to stop blaming the weather, bad luck, the Bush administration, racism, congress, global warming, or the Tea Party for all his failures. People are not stupid and he is not the smartest guy in the room. The smartest guy in the room, in my opinion, is Charles Krauthammer, and Charles believes that Obama's speech slated for next Thursday night, is going to be more of the same--more campaigning, more blame of the congress (read Republicans), and nothing specific.


The chances of Obama doing a big turnaround and being less inept, less incompetent, less timid, less Obamateurish, is very small. So don't hold your breath and don't vote for failure.



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