Russia pulls a Clinton-Abrams move at Olympics: says they won gold but took silver

Dina Averna getting snot in her face mask

In the spirit of Hillary Clinton and Stacey Abrams, the Russian Olympic Committee (ROC) is claiming an "injustice" of the gold medal win for Israel’s Linoy Ashram in the Olympic rhythmic gymnastics individual all-around final. C'mon, it's only Israel--they're no match for the Rooskies. 

But it looks like Israel's Linoy Ashram is a match and edged out the three-time world champion Dina "Boo Hoo" Averina, ending two decades of Russian dominance in the sport while Russia denies they lost.

And Hillary Clinton is really the president. And Stacey Abrams is governor of Georgia. And chickens will one day fly and darken the skies.

“The whole world has seen this injustice,” tweeted the ROC, then later tweeted, in part: “My conscience is clear, I still believe that I won.” At least she believes it in her heart, even though she didn't win.

Ashram having a ball

Israel's Ashram, 22, led the finals for the first three rounds with practically perfect performances and although she made a tiny mistake in her closing ribbon routine, she went on to win with 107.800 points, a full 0.150 points ahead of the communist who needed 24.15 to win but only managed 24 points.

The Russians called Averina's performance "excellent," but sadly for her, the judges saw it less than that and Israel took the gold.

“It’s what I dreamed of for all my life,” Ashram said after her victory. “It’s an amazing feeling to stand in this place, at this time, on the podium and in first place,” said the gymnast who has now been picked to carry the flag at the closing ceremony. “It’s a crazy experience that I still haven’t fully digested,” she said.

The ROC team lodged several inquiries into the scores including for the ribbon routine, but the points stood. Afterwards, Averina, the silver medalist, lashed out at the judges--Hillary-Stacey style--amazed they would give the gold to an Israeli in spite of her previous success.

“I don’t feel that it was fair today and it was obvious from the very first apparatus when… I got a lower score, so I can’t say that it was very fair,” said the graceless Averina. 

“I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m a little bit upset,” a bawling Averina told reporters as a bead of snot ran out of her left nostril onto her athletic lap.

Ashram was visibly moved as Israel’s national anthem, Hatikva, rang out through the gymnastics center as the flag was raised after the win as Averina looked like she was having a cow.

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US Women's Soccer team loses every which way

Boo Freaking Hoo

The U.S. women's soccer team lost 3 - 0 to Sweden on Wednesday morning. But before the game began at the Tokyo Olympic opener, all 22 players representing the United States, took a knee for the National Anthem in solidarity with fellow Marxists of Black Lives Matter.

Fortunately, America has never been very big on soccer so it's likely that only a relative handful of people watched them get their collective butts kicked by a better team. But for those patriots who actually chose to watch the game rather than stick needles in their eyes, they were mostly rooting for the U.S. team to lose because the team did not represent the greatest country on the planet, they represented an ideology that historically has killed about 100 million people.

Americans are waking up to the problem and are fed-up with the team's self-serving "woke" antics. Those of us on the right are glad they lost, and never thought they would actually want their nation's team to go down in defeat. 

“I’m so happy they lost,” Daily Wire podcast host Matt Walsh stated bluntly. “I’m actively rooting against US women’s soccer. I want them to be humiliated and embarrassed, just as they humiliate and embarrass our country.”

Thats hitting the nail on the head.

The loss also inspired the satirical site The Babylon Bee:

“Inspiring: US Women’s Soccer Team To Boycott Scoring Goals Until Racism Is Defeated,” one of the headlines teased. Another headline read, “To Improve Olympic Chances, US Women’s Soccer Team Replaced By 15-Year-Old Boys Team In Wigs.”

Inspiring: US Women's Soccer Team To Boycott Scoring Goals Until Racism Is Defeated https://t.co/glqRSt6BZ1

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) July 21, 2021

To Improve Olympic Chances, US Women's Soccer Team Replaced By 15-Year-Old Boys Team In Wigs https://t.co/Ev0kk3lXYB

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) July 21, 2021

[H/T The Daily Wire]

So let's keep praying the U.S. women's soccer team continues on its road to defeat. Let's hope they lose their games, their fans, and their endorsements. 

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