Lebanon exploding pagers wound dozens in unmentionable body parts of Hezbollonians

Israel is not taking credit for dozens of personal Hezbollah pagers from remotely detonating in Lebanon on Tuesday, wounding dozens in places where men don't want to be wounded and also in hands above the waist. 

The phenomenon was reported by state-run media, which means it has to be true because it sure isn't a good look for Hezbollah.

[H/T Fox News Digital.]

This included hundreds of hand-held pagers as Lebanon's state-run National News Agency reported. "The handheld pagers system was detonated using advanced technology, and dozens of injuries were reported," [by men with unusually high-pitched voices].

It isn't yet known if anyone was killed by the exploding pagers, but it's possible that some of the men might wish they were dead, based on where they kept their device.

One man, [we'll call him Ahmed] was injured in his groin area. "I was looking at a beautiful pair of eyes from under the niqab and suddenly I felt a warmth coming from beneath my shirwal. I thought it was from my reaction to her beauty, but no, it was my pager heating up in my pocket and then it exploded. Please don't laugh at my voice."

Lebanon's state-run National News Agency reported that in Beirut’s southern suburbs and other areas "the handheld pagers system was detonated using advanced technology, and dozens of injuries were reported." It wasn't immediately clear if people were killed.

Although Israel isn't taking credit for the incident, they are quite adept in technology, and smart beats brawn in the long run every time.

Am Yisrael Chai! 

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