CNN Debate will take into account Biden's dementia

Kamala Harris grabs "racist" Biden in mid-conversation with Robert Byrd

The Compromised News Network presidential debate scheduled for June 27th will feature two men whose combined age is 159 years. The only difference is, the 78-year-old, Donald Trump, has good mental acuity, while the 81-year-old, Joe Biden, has the mental acuity of Pez dispenser without the candy.

In order to tilt the field in Biden's favor, CNN has made a few changes, which is: 

1. Instead of just one commercial break, there will be two, to accommodate Biden's bladder and bowels, but especially his bowels. However, there might be bathroom breaks in addition to the commercials. 

2. To avoid embarrassing remarks by both candidates, the microphones will be muted when it isn't their turn to speak, or in Biden's case, to mumble incoherently.

3. "Both candidates agreed to appear at a uniform podium, and their podium positions will be determined by a coin flip," claims CNN.

4. To avoid embarrassing body posturing, such as shaking hands with the air or walking in the area looking for ice cream, no audience will be in attendance.

5. Since speaking isn't Joe's forte, and when he tries, he sounds like a guy who's chasing kids off his lawn, there will be no opening statements.

6. The moderators “will use all tools at their disposal to enforce timing and ensure a civilized discussion,” according to the network. That means no talking over the other guy, which the cutting off of microphones should have handled.

7. There will be a "spin room." Gavin Newsom and his oily hair, will be available for Biden. This change is obviously due to Biden being used to having someone telling him what to do.

Trump has yet to choose anyone to represent him, but does he really need someone?

Biden is going to sequester himself for a week prior to the debate, ostensibly to sleep, look out the window, titrate whatever drugs they're going to give him, and prep intensively, but which will be quickly forgotten once he's on the stage. By "prep" it isn't known whether CNN will be giving him the answers to the  questions which they will likely give him.

By way of contrast, Trump says he's going to "wing it," because he can.

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