BREAKING: COVID-19 does not effect certain mourners, rioters and protesters

"It's a spider doing pushups on a mirror, folks"

A new study shows that the deadly and highly scary Chinese Communist Wuhan Coronavirus is somehow unable to spread in large gatherings where fires are started in which buildings, cars and American flags are burned and emit large quantities of smoke and heat.

The nation's top disease expert, Dr. Tony "No Baloney" Fauci, also believes that there are extraneous circumstances, such as funerals for Democratic politicians, whereby those in attendance are immune from contracting the disease, a disease which has been determined to spread most rapidly in private gymnasiums, dry beach sand, motorboats, gatherings of more than ten conservatives, California primary schools, and houses of worship.


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