Lazy critter found in cave--scientists name him "Bernie"

A rare cave salamander named Bernie has been discovered by spelunkers who enjoy checking on things like this and found that he has stayed on the same spot for seven years. He ate on that spot, pooped on that spot, and yes, had his hopes and dream dashed on that spot.

Bernie is a rare creature known as the olmen or olm for short. These creatures can live a very long life and never have an idea that's worth sharing or even have a reason for leaving the spot. This little guy hasn't budged from his crap-laden spot for 2,569 days and all he does is complain and complain about the other salamanders who have more.

“They are hanging around, doing almost nothing,” lead scientist Gergely Balázs told The New Scientist, which angered Alexandria Obviously-Comatose, who refuted Gergely's claims.

Balázs and his colleagues at Eötvös Loránd University in Hungary came across the lazy jerk inside a cave in Bosnia and Herzegovina.

Olms can go years without eating or eating other salamander's food, and they don't tend to enjoy socializing. Other animals don't bother to prey on them, according to The Independent. What they really like to do more than any other thing is to complain about the other types of salamanders who refuse to share insects and such.

The small, sedentary, socialist olmen tend to move, according to the study, only when they need to find a mate -- which only happens roughly once every 12 years or so throughout their 100-year life span. But once they find that mate, they tend to move a lot more to the beat of the music, if you know what I mean.

Fortunately, most of these creatures are too lazy to vote.

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