Monday, May 20, 2019

NYC: Man stabbed on subway for publicly 'charming the cobra'

The following is based on a true story with some slang thrown in for chuckles.

A 29-year-old man reported that he was stabbed by a woman on the subway who accused him of publicly masturbating, [aka painting the pickle] according to police.

The alleged "chicken choker" told police that he was riding a No.5 train between E. 86th and E. 59th St. at approximately 8:30 p.m, Saturday when the incident with the crazy lady occurred.

After he got on the train, he observed a man and a woman with a baby stroller sit near him. When he stood up from his seat with his hands in his hoodie pockets, the woman sitting near him reportedly accused him of pounding the bishop, the New York Daily News reports.

“I’m not touching myself. Are you crazy?” the man said in response to her accusation him of  "adjusting the antenna."

The accusation led to a heated back-and-forth between the two, resulting in the woman pulling out a pocket knife and allegedly stabbing the man who allegedly was "engaging in safe sex," in the shoulder, according to the New York Post.

The alleged "log flogger" then reportedly scooted into an adjacent subway car, and had to physically hold the door shut to keep the woman from continue stabbing him for simply "holding his own."

When the train finally stopped at the E. 59th St. station, the alleged "log flogger" sprung from the train car, attempting to escape via a stairway when the man who entered the train with the woman grabbed his hoodie and pulled him back down, according to police.

The fleeing man managed to get away from his pursuer by running across the subway tracks, then boarding another train.

Afterward, the stab victim went to Queens Mount Sinai Hospital in Astoria, where his injuries required three stitches.

Police have made no arrest related to the incident as of Monday morning.


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