NoKo is causing mountains to poop out

North Korea is so hyped up to develop a dependable nuclear weapon that the mountain they're using to test nukes is beginning to take on aspects of a failed breast implant. The result is called "tired mountain syndrome" and there isn't a drug on the market that's going to make it better. 

The name of the mountain might be significant too--Mount Mantap--sure has an interesting ring to it.

Mount Mantap is a 7,200-foot-high peak below which the tests are being done and it's suffering from geologic sickness caused by the North Koreans after a massive detonation that triggered a 6.3-magnitude earthquake. The mountain visibly shifted and since then, the region, not known for natural seismic activity, experienced three more earthquakes.

"What we are seeing from North Korea looks like some kind of stress in the ground," Paul G. Richards, a seismologist at Columbia University's Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory said. "In that part of the world, there were stresses in the ground, but the explosions have shaken them up."

The Chinese are worried the mountain could collapse altogether and cause radiation to be released from the blast.

The hermit nation is like a ten-year-old child playing with fireworks in his house while his parents are away.

North Korea has conducted six nuclear tests since 2006 and all of them were done under Mount Mantap at a site known as the Punggye-ri Nuclear Test Facilty.

That's like the same ten-year-old kid giving the kitchen trash can where he lights off firecrackers, sparklers and bottle rockets, a fancy name.

After the September 3rd test, dictator and former "Before" poster boy for Nutra System, Kim Jong Un, claimed the rogue nation set off a hydrogen bomb and that it had been a "perfect success"[ if you don't count what it did to poor Mantap].

Analysis of the mountain showed photos of landslides and numerous areas of gravel and stone fields that were "lofted" by the tremors. Lofting occurs when shockwaves cause material to be shot out from the ground and the material falls back down in the same area.

Estimates put the death toll of ground hogs and worms at an astronomically high number.

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