Wednesday, August 23, 2017

PC in D.C. 2050 predictions

Ground Zeroville -- In a town once known as Washington D.C. an anti-fascist young man stands guard by a newly erected memorial. 

Holding a baseball bat caked in dry blood, dressed in midnight black garments with his face covered, he paces back and forth in front of the Tomb of the Undocumented Transgender Migrant Farm Worker. 

Not more than a healthy stone's throw away, a modified Washington Monument casts its long shadow upon the earth. The monument, now known as "The Mega Flip-Off," depicts a giant middle finger that can even be seen from the building that was once known as the White House.

The house where the U.S. president resided has been painted black. It is, of course, now called the Black House Matters and is populated by a young, rich anti-capitalist who identifies as a lesbian trapped in a gay man's body. He or she runs the country and his or her word is the law.

A flag flies above the Black House Matters--it is the flag of the hammer and sickle and waves proudly in the cool breeze that was supposed to be a hot breeze by this time in earth's history.

The Lincoln Memorial is no more. It is a hollow structure in which skateboard ramps have been constructed. The ramp has a golden jump made in the shape of a former president's hair. 

The only people permitted to use the skateboard ramps are the Antifa men and women who now run the government.

The statue of Thomas Jefferson has been destroyed and replaced by a likeness of Karl Marx. 


In spite of the many pigeons who gain purchase and poop upon the beard, head and shoulders of this figure, the statue maintains better hygiene than the actual author of The Communist Manifesto.

The Korean War Veterans Memorial and Vietnam Memorial have been destroyed and replaced by statues of heroes of the early 21st Century: Bill Maher, Rosie O'Donnell, Stephen Colbert and Al Gore to name a few.

Under each statue are inscriptions of the last words they spoke on their deathbeds.

The Maher inscription reads: "Donald Trump had something going on with Ivanka. I just know it."

The O'Donnell inscription reads: "I'm glad I'll never again have to see or hear that piece of s**t, Donald Trump after this."

Colbert's reads: "I'm very cool and I plan to stay that way forever."

Gore's inscription reads: "I know that I told you Washington would be under water by now. Give it a little more time . . . trust me."

The nation has changed. The inmates are now running the asylum.

But the people will rise up and take the country back.



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