CNN still hasn't learned, still sucks

"I have a full head of hair"

Certainly Not News (CNN) head Jeff Zucker told his psychiatrist that viewers of the fake news network trust them "more than ever." He also swore that he saw Elvis at San Francisco Walmart and that wishing upon a star actually works.

Zucker babbled on to say that he is certain that CNN continues to have the undying trust of its two hundred or so viewers, as it extends into digital brands in order to attract a younger group of naive leftists.

His psychiatrist, who listened patiently to this prattle, ended up prescribing 5mg of Haldol tid, and a series of ECT booster jolts into the brain just for the fun of it.

Later that day Zucker spoke at Cannes Lions and said that, "CNN has been around for 37 years, our trustworthiness today is the same as it was a year ago [which sucked a year ago as well] before people in high offices started questioning it. We know that through our own brand research. Just because somebody says you are not trustworthy [and constantly twist stories and lie in order to attack Trump] that doesn't mean it is so . . . CNN's brand equity is built over 37 years doing hard work in very dangerous places [like Chicago and other Democrat-run cities]  . . . those who rely on CNN trust CNN more than ever."

Of course, that too is a lie. In fact, Zucker makes Alex Jones look like Josef Pulitzer.

The network that brought us the master-debater-moderator, Candy Crowley, and Anderson "if he took a dump on his desk" Cooper, who basically sucked up to Barack Obama and never asked him an actual hardball question, is now trying to convince us their reporting is edgy?

CNN is just another leftist wing of the Democratic Party. Listen to the way Cooper attacks the panelist.

They're as honest as a strung out junkie alone in a drugstore . . . or The New York Times.



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