Boo-Hoo Boehner's Biting Words

John "Man Tan" Boehner, the former House speaker, finally got involved with the presidential campaigning by speaking out against Ted Cruz while blowing kisses to Donald Trump. Boehner went after Cruz referring to him as "Lucifer in the flesh" and a "miserable son of a bitch."

Boehner reportedly doesn't even know Ted Cruz's mother and probably should not have used that term as it offends mothers everywhere this close to Mother's Day.

But Boehner is never one to mince words or emotions. Like when he cried when meeting Pope Francis in Washington D.C. "What a day," Boehner said. "What a moment for our country . . . the Holy Father's visit is surely a blessing for all of us." Sniff, sniff.

Or when he cried in an interview with Golf Channel saying, "I want to make sure that every kid had the same chances that I did."

Or when he cried at Rep. Gabrielle Giffords' resignation ceremony in 2012. 

Or when he cried when Nancy Pelosi handed him the House gavel in 2011.

Or when he cried at the Ohio State University commencement address in June 2011.

But Boehner has put away the tears and has gotten off the tanning bed to once again get involved in politics. I missed him so much, it brought tears to my eyes.

Boehner said that he's played golf with Donald Trump and said that he and the Donald are "texting buddies." He added that while Ohio Gov. John "Karate Chop" Kasich "requires more effort," he says they are friends "and I love him."

He and Kasich are planning to adopt after the campaign "once JK settles down."

Boehner said "I have Democratic friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life," he told the Stanford Daily.

While not endorsing Trump [or gay marriage] Boehner said he would vote for him, but not Cruz. He would rather have a lying felon incompetent woman or socialist in the White House than that guy with the world's most "punchable face."

Cruz fired back on Twitter: "Tell me again who will stand up to Washington? Trump, who's Boehner's 'texting and golfing buddy,' or Carly & me?

Cruz also said that he "never worked" with Boehner implying that Boehner is as honest as his perennial tan. "Boehner's comments reveal everything that is wrong with Washington," Cruz said.

Paul Ryan, Boo-Hoo Boehner's successor, said that he doesn't share the same views about Cruz.

Calling someone "Lucifer" is like calling everyone you don't like "Hitler." It doesn't ring true and it dilutes the truth as to the evil of the two.

But if Boehner wants to act like a damn Hitler, that's his business.

BTW: Please excuse the spelling typo of Boehner's name in the original posting--it shows up on Flipboard and cannot be deleted and corrected once it's posted.



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