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Gaza City, Gaza Strip -- Hamas reports that they killed one of their own commanders due to unnamed "moral and behavioral violations."
What in Allah's name could those violations be? Hmm.
It can't be for beating his wife--there's nothing wrong with that, according to Islam, as long as you warn her first about her unacceptable behavior.
It can't be for being a pedophile. Even their war leader and prophet, Mohammad, married a six year old Aisha and consummated the marriage when she was an "old lady" of nine and he was merely fifty-two.
Perhaps the commander was guilty of bestiality, like maybe a goat or sheep--wait--there's actually a fatwa that allows for that when there's no one else around.
Immoral behavior? Hmm.
Maybe the commander ordered the killing of innocent Israeli civilians.
No, that can't be it because if you're a Hamasshole you're told to kill Israelis. They are Jews, and Jews, for Hamas, are not innocent from the day they're born. It says so in the Koran.
I got it! The commander must have been gay. That's the ticket. He must have been accused of being gay and when questioned, admitted to it, perhaps because he loved his partner.
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What in Allah's name could those violations be? Hmm.
It can't be for beating his wife--there's nothing wrong with that, according to Islam, as long as you warn her first about her unacceptable behavior.
It can't be for being a pedophile. Even their war leader and prophet, Mohammad, married a six year old Aisha and consummated the marriage when she was an "old lady" of nine and he was merely fifty-two.
Perhaps the commander was guilty of bestiality, like maybe a goat or sheep--wait--there's actually a fatwa that allows for that when there's no one else around.
Immoral behavior? Hmm.
Maybe the commander ordered the killing of innocent Israeli civilians.
No, that can't be it because if you're a Hamasshole you're told to kill Israelis. They are Jews, and Jews, for Hamas, are not innocent from the day they're born. It says so in the Koran.
I got it! The commander must have been gay. That's the ticket. He must have been accused of being gay and when questioned, admitted to it, perhaps because he loved his partner.
Tweet
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