LA "Marathon" allows runners to get medals for identifying as finishing

Everyone gets a medal: you get a medal, and you get a medal . . .

In the grand tradition of human achievement, where men and women once pushed their bodies to the very edge of endurance to claim the honor of finishing a full 26.2 miles, the organizers of the Los Angeles Marathon have decided to introduce a touch of modern compassion, or, depending on your perspective, a gentle surrender to the elements.

They've made the head-scratching decision to reward runners "who have had a tough day" after a mere 18 miles of the course.

Yes, you read that correctly. Participants in this noble test of will and endurance now have the option to receive their finisher medals at the 18-mile marker, sparing themselves the final 8.2 miles without ever having to cross the actual finish line. In other words, they don't need to be marathoners, but can identify as marathoners.

"If you're having a tough day and want to end your race before 26.2, you can choose to take the turn at Mile 18 and head into the finish line early," The McCourt Foundation says on its website. "You do not need to notify anyone of your decision and can opt to take this route at any time."

The organization hastens to add that this generous provision is only for this year, because apparently next year the sun might behave itself.

The decision has drawn some predictable mocking on social media, as one might expect when the ancient rite of the marathon gets a participation-trophy upgrade.

The race was set to begin on Sunday with temperatures climbing as high as 88 degrees in the Los Angeles area, conditions that, in saner times, have prompted marathon organizers to cancel events outright or shift start times to spare runners from turning into human jerky. But not the City of Angels--if Pheidippides could do it, anyone could do it, although the first Greek marathoner died at the end because he had inferior training and running shoes.

"You will still receive your finisher medal and any challenge medal you’ve earned, and your official race results will be updated at a later date to reflect your time and mileage," The McCourt Foundation added. "There is no shame in making a smart decision for your body."

Smart, perhaps. But one wonders if the word "finisher" loses a little something when the finishing part has been quietly abbreviated.

Meg Treat, owner of Treat Public Relations (which is handling the race's PR, naturally), explained to Runner’s World that the weather was very much on their minds.

So cancel the race for better weather.

"Our weather conversations have been ongoing… We start actively monitoring it with the LA Fire Department who partners with the National Weather Service 10 days before the race," she told the outlet.

"This was earlier this week that the team was alerted about the warmer temperatures . . . [and] we communicated to our runners about how they could have a safe race day."

Safety is paramount, of course, no one disputes that. But in a world already awash in diluted meanings and softened edges, it's hard not to feel a pang for the old, harder truths: that a marathon finisher medal meant you had finished the marathon, every punishing step of it, heat or no heat.

Call me old-fashioned, but there's something almost poignant about the idea that true victory might still require going the full distance, even when the sun is trying to cook you alive.

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