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Netflix alone is slinging 2.2 million minutes of content, which shakes out to roughly 36,000 hours of programming. That's enough runtime to binge-watch your way through a solid decade of existential dread. And don't get me started on YouTube: 700,000 hours of uploads every single day. Folks, if that's not a recipe for parental paranoia, then nothing is.
So, yeah, we're not super-humans. We can't pre-vet every TikTok dance, every Fortnite skin, or every episode of whatever pastel-drenched fever dream is trending. That's why we lean on the grown-up guardrails: parental controls, those handy-dandy ratings like TV-Y, Y7, G, or PG. It's not laziness; it's math. Finite parents, infinite content.
So, yeah, we're not super-humans. We can't pre-vet every TikTok dance, every Fortnite skin, or every episode of whatever pastel-drenched fever dream is trending. That's why we lean on the grown-up guardrails: parental controls, those handy-dandy ratings like TV-Y, Y7, G, or PG. It's not laziness; it's math. Finite parents, infinite content.
As for me, I cancelled my Netflix account when the company featured "Cuties."
Enter Netflix, where the Vice President of Inclusion Strategy, one Wade Davis, has been turning his social media feed into a personal TED Talk on transgender issues. (Thanks for the headshot, Reuters, looking sharp in that Netflix glow, Wade.) Bless his heart, but when parents spot a TV-Y7 stamp on an animated series, they're not unreasonable for thinking, "Cool, seven-year-olds can handle this without therapy bills piling up." You'd figure topics like sexuality or gender identity would be quarantined to the grown-folks section, right? Wrong. Dead wrong. As in, "Dead End: Paranormal Park" wrong.
This little gem of a kids' show, rated TV-Y7, mind you, drops this bombshell dialogue like it's just another Tuesday:
"It's not the park. It's — it’s me. I'm trans, Norma. And everyone at school knows, and everyone at home knows. And being here? It's like, I can just be Barney, and I can choose if and when I tell people. I've never been happier. And that's saying something when I spent the day chased by terrifying zombie mascots. Pugsy reminded me how important it is to live your life without apology. So, I think I've got to give living here a shot. Don't you?"
Once that clip hit the viral scrap heap, the internet's amateur detectives went full Sherlock, torches and pitchforks optional, and unearthed a treasure trove of similar sneak attacks. Take "Transformers EarthSpark" (another Y7 special):
"Hey, it's OK. I know I'm safe when I'm with my friends or other nonbinary people." "Nonbinary?" "People who aren't female or male. Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed ..." "I always knew my pronouns felt right, but ... what a wonderful word for a wonderful experience."
And then there's "Strawberry Shortcake: Berry in the Big City" (straight-up TV-Y, for the toddler set), where Lime Chiffon gets two dads: Banoffee, who's trans, and Raisin Cane, who's nonbinary. Banoffee struts into a drag show and declares, "As a trans berry, I love living out loud as my most authentic self, and I wanted to dress as bold and unique as I am, which, let’s face it, is a tall order."
Now, here's the kicker that makes you want to yeet your router into the neighbor's yard: most of this stuff is ancient history in streaming years. That "Dead End" clip is at least three years old. Heck, a bunch of us culture-war walruses (guilty as charged) didn't even clock it until the show's creator, Hamish Steele, decided to play Twitter provocateur. He fired off a venomous clap-back at British Prime Minister Keir Starmer's tweet about Charlie Kirk's "assassination" (spoiler: it's still fake news, but drama sells).
Enter Netflix, where the Vice President of Inclusion Strategy, one Wade Davis, has been turning his social media feed into a personal TED Talk on transgender issues. (Thanks for the headshot, Reuters, looking sharp in that Netflix glow, Wade.) Bless his heart, but when parents spot a TV-Y7 stamp on an animated series, they're not unreasonable for thinking, "Cool, seven-year-olds can handle this without therapy bills piling up." You'd figure topics like sexuality or gender identity would be quarantined to the grown-folks section, right? Wrong. Dead wrong. As in, "Dead End: Paranormal Park" wrong.
This little gem of a kids' show, rated TV-Y7, mind you, drops this bombshell dialogue like it's just another Tuesday:
"It's not the park. It's — it’s me. I'm trans, Norma. And everyone at school knows, and everyone at home knows. And being here? It's like, I can just be Barney, and I can choose if and when I tell people. I've never been happier. And that's saying something when I spent the day chased by terrifying zombie mascots. Pugsy reminded me how important it is to live your life without apology. So, I think I've got to give living here a shot. Don't you?"
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| "Cuties" ad poster |
Once that clip hit the viral scrap heap, the internet's amateur detectives went full Sherlock, torches and pitchforks optional, and unearthed a treasure trove of similar sneak attacks. Take "Transformers EarthSpark" (another Y7 special):
"Hey, it's OK. I know I'm safe when I'm with my friends or other nonbinary people." "Nonbinary?" "People who aren't female or male. Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed ..." "I always knew my pronouns felt right, but ... what a wonderful word for a wonderful experience."
And then there's "Strawberry Shortcake: Berry in the Big City" (straight-up TV-Y, for the toddler set), where Lime Chiffon gets two dads: Banoffee, who's trans, and Raisin Cane, who's nonbinary. Banoffee struts into a drag show and declares, "As a trans berry, I love living out loud as my most authentic self, and I wanted to dress as bold and unique as I am, which, let’s face it, is a tall order."
Now, here's the kicker that makes you want to yeet your router into the neighbor's yard: most of this stuff is ancient history in streaming years. That "Dead End" clip is at least three years old. Heck, a bunch of us culture-war walruses (guilty as charged) didn't even clock it until the show's creator, Hamish Steele, decided to play Twitter provocateur. He fired off a venomous clap-back at British Prime Minister Keir Starmer's tweet about Charlie Kirk's "assassination" (spoiler: it's still fake news, but drama sells).
Suddenly, boom—spotlight on the skeletons in Netflix's kids' content closet.
These episodes have been marinating in the algorithm for years, skating by on autopilot thanks to those deceptive Y and PG badges of honor. Parents hit play, thinking "harmless fun," and poof, gender theory homework.
These episodes have been marinating in the algorithm for years, skating by on autopilot thanks to those deceptive Y and PG badges of honor. Parents hit play, thinking "harmless fun," and poof, gender theory homework.
Netflix? Crickets on viewership stats or kid demographics, because transparency is for chumps.
So, the million-dollar question, parents: How many tykes have already mainlined this ideological IV drip? How many are now pondering pronouns over Pop-Tarts, or worse, teetering toward a lifetime of regret-fueled decisions, all because some suits in Silicon Valley decided "entertainment" means embedding activism in your Rugrats reboot? Time to stop the second chances, folks. Cancel that sub, dust off the library card, and remind Big Stream that kids' shows should stick to zombies, not identity crises. Your sanity, and theirs, will thank you.
So, the million-dollar question, parents: How many tykes have already mainlined this ideological IV drip? How many are now pondering pronouns over Pop-Tarts, or worse, teetering toward a lifetime of regret-fueled decisions, all because some suits in Silicon Valley decided "entertainment" means embedding activism in your Rugrats reboot? Time to stop the second chances, folks. Cancel that sub, dust off the library card, and remind Big Stream that kids' shows should stick to zombies, not identity crises. Your sanity, and theirs, will thank you.
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