Biden scares DNC Chair: has full day with no gaffes or other brain-freeze moments

"Ahamida hamida, man"

WASHINGTON, DC -- President Biden went a full 4 hours without a gaffe, lie, insult to reporters, or racist remarks. Amazingly, he appeared at a fund raising dinner for the Democratic National Committee and sat beside his handler and wife, Doctor Jill Biden.

DNC chair Jaime R, Harrison addressed the group of eager imbibers and introduced the President of the United States. Joe slowly stood up, flashed his signature dentures to the crowd, and carefully made his way toward the podium without having to be held by the arm and shown where it was.

"We're at a crossroads in our democracy and the MAGA Republicans want to take away your rights," Biden shouted. "But we won't let them do that to this great nation under God, as God is my witness," he mumbled. "No joke. I'm serious, man."

And he went on like that as Harrison, who was now seated beside House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, did not realize his lapel mic was still hot as he leaned toward the octogenarian and said, "[O]h Jeez, people are going to think Biden has got it together and they'll nominate him again. This is a disaster." 

Speaker Pelosi replied, "Joe is just a kid, as far as I'm concerned. He'll have a great second term. Damn, these dentures won't sit still. What are you drinking? That looks interesting."

"It's called an Alabama Slammer."

"Be a lamb and grab one for me when he comes around again."

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