Hillary and Chelsea get parting gifts on Broadway that they didn't expect to get: yuck

It was the girls night out on Broadway where Hillary and Chelsea Clinton attended a performance of "Some Like it Hot." Unfortunately for them, someone left something hot and it kind of ruined their evening.

The Shubert Theater, in New York City was where the gift was left for the mother and daughter team, as the play reached an intermission. Someone had defecated, as in took a dump, just a few odiferous aisles away from where they sat.

The turds were found during that intermission and weren't difficult to find.

“Last week when Hillary and Chelsea Clinton were in the audience, the lights came up for intermission and there were two human turds in the aisle just near the famous political duo.”

It’s unknown whether the dual dump was an intentional act or some sort of medical accident, but chances are that the perpetrator left one for each Clinton on purpose. 

An anonymous source described the incident as involving an elderly person who may have had bowel control issues, [but my money is still on a deliberate dumper].

It is also unknown whether or not Monica Lewinsky attended the play, which could clear up the matter.

“It was an elderly person and it’s rather sad, but yes, the house staff worked quickly to help resolve the situation and Act II started as scheduled.”

A manager for the playhouse told the witness that this wasn’t the first time the droppings had been found in the midst of a performance.

A seemingly troubled patron of the playhouse has defecated in the theater four different times, according to a witness’s conversation with the manager.

“There is someone who is either s****ing in the aisle, or surreptitiously dumping defecation that they smuggled into the theater.”

The waste was dealt with as best as theater staff could, with Hillary and her daughter remaining for the second act of the show, according to the report.

There’s no reason to suspect that the gifts were left as a targeted affront to the Clintons as Ms. Lewinsky was nowhere to be found. 

It seems as if parody has taken a backstage to reality.

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