BREAKING: Sammy the Bull-thrower Bankman-Fried agrees to be extradited to US

Disgraced FTX founder and overall scumcrumpet Sam Bankman-Fried has done his extradition homework and is all set to be sent from the Bahamas to the US where his ass is grass over criminal charges that allege he defrauded $1,800,000,000 from investors. For reference purposes, there are only 3,544,000 seconds in a year, so we're talking mucho dinero that he screwed people out of with the help of various celebrities. [H/T NY Post]

SBF, as he is often called by his girlfriend Olive Oyl, consented to extradition because he alleges that he wants "to make the relevant customers whole," according to court papers. Of course, this is bull pucks--he initially fought extradition but now realizes that it's no use, so this is his last ploy to somehow get away with his scam by trying to con the judicial system.

The big-bosom bag of bull arrived in Magistrate Court in Nassau, Bahamas on Wednesday at around 11:00 a.m. and told the judge that he is waiving his rights to a long and lengthy extradition hearing. He is casting his fate to the wind, and that wind will not be pleasant.

Once he arrives back in the US, he will be remanded into custody but his departure from the Bahamas is still unknown.

SBF was a key player in the lightning fast collapse of FTX, a crypto currency exchange. He allegedly used investors' money to fund his Alameda Research hedge fund and also to purchase real estate for himself and his parents.

Bankman-Fried is being prosecuted by the Southern District of New York and faces a maximum of 115 years in prison if convicted, which seems to be likely because he is, after all, guilty as a drag queen in Boys' Town.

If Bankman-Fried doesn’t get bail in New York, he is likely to be locked up Brooklyn’s notorious Metropolitan Detention Center as he awaits trial. Hopefully, he will come prepared with body wash rather than bar soap, which can cause problems if he drops it.

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