Climate protester self-gluers-to-masterpieces sentenced to prison

Britain's Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge views “Girl with a Pearl Earring”
by Johannes Vermeer during a visit to the Mauritshuis in The Hague, Netherlands,
 October 11, 2016. (Arthur Edwards/Reuters)

Self-important virtue signaling climate protesters who glued themselves to famous paintings have been sentenced to prison Wednesday. Each received two-month sentences, one of which was suspended, so they will only spend one month incarcerated for their stupidity. 

Onlookers looked on in shock and disbelief at the Mauritshuis Museum in The Hague last week as the bozos targeted the Johannes Vermeer painting "Girl with a Pearl Earring." One putz glued his empty head to the painting as his co-putz poured a can of tomato soup over his empty head. The second jerk then glued his own hand to a wall mounting. A third idiot videotaped the display.

The clown trio spoke to the onlookers in English: “How do you feel when you see something beautiful and priceless being apparently destroyed before your eyes? Do you feel outraged? Good. Where is that feeling when you see the planet being destroyed before our very eyes?”

Museum goers screamed "obscene" and "shame on you." That should have stopped them in their tracks, but these cretins stuck to the task at hand and seemed to desecrate the paintings, according to CNN. But one of the dickweeds said, “This painting is protected by glass, it’s just fine.”

“Vulnerable people in the Global South, they are not protected. The future of our children is not protected,” he said, anticipating that one day a woman would deign to have a child with him.

One of the three stooges is due to be sentenced Friday. Their identities were not revealed by the court. Prosecutors asked for 4-month sentences in prison for each but the judge said that she worried if that was imposed, other protestors might not protest other things to make themselves feel better than the rest of us.

* * *

Hey folks, consider subscribing to Brain Flushings and please check out the ads on these pages. It costs nothing to subscribe and it's worth every penny. And remember, every time you click on an ad, you help in the fight against Critical Race Theory, ignorance, The New York Times, and bovine flatulence. You also help me. Thanks.

* * *

The climate group Just Stop Oil Belgium clashed with another protest group known as Just Stop Protesting Stupid Crap, the latter of which glued the testicles of the first group to the first group's inner thighs.