CNN "reporter" defends Biden's cognitive abilities: the 'gears of his mind are working'. Babylon Bee worries that CNN is 'the new kid in town'

Chris Wallace reads the Help Wanted ads

The Comedy News Network's Johnny Harwood [aka Big John Hardwood] defended alleged President Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. against people who have noticed the so-called president's brain has turned into something resembling oatmeal. In fact, if Biden's brain was an automotive engine, it has seized up from lack of oil, which is a metaphor for lack of memory, among other attributes.

Biden reminds me of the joke about an elderly couple who go to the doctor for their annual checkup:

The doctor says after their exams, "You both are in excellent physical health." 

But the husband tells the doctor, "Yes, but our memories are failing us a lot more lately." 

The doctor replies, "Don't worry about that; just write things down so you'll be able to recall them."

The couple goes home and later that evening the wife starts to head for the kitchen. "Sweetheart," the old man says, "would you bring me back some ice cream while you're there?" 

The wife smiles and says, "Certainly, Dear." 

"But you better write it down because I want the vanilla ice cream."

"No problem. Vanilla ice cream; I'll remember."

"I also would like chocolate syrup, so you better write it down."

"Vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup. I'll remember that."

"But I also want whipped cream and sprinkles. Please, just write it down--it's a lot to remember."

"Vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, whipped cream and sprinkles."

"Will you forget the cherry on top?"                                                                                               "I'll remember."

So the wife goes into the kitchen and the husband hears the pots and pans rattling like crazy. After fifteen minutes or so, the wife returns to the living room and she's carrying a tray of bacon, eggs and coffee. Th husband sees this and is obviously frustrated. "I knew you should have written it down, Dear. You forgot the toast."

The CNN propaganda reporter appeared on Sunday's "Reliable Sources," a show whose name is an oxymoron and the host is missing the 'oxy.' 

Harwood was responding to Mark Leibovich's article he wrote for The Atlantic last Thursday. In the article, Leibovich practically begged old Joe not to run for re-election in 2024 due to concerns over his age. Biden turns 80 in November and assuming he did run, would be 82 at the start of his term, and older than the Dead Sea Scrolls by the end of it.

"Let me put this bluntly: Joe Biden should not run for re-election in 2024. He is too old," Leibovich wrote.

CNN host and alleged cis gender male, Brian Stelter, who is probably not going to be at the failing network much longer, discussed how there is a growing concern among those in the media and politics, that Biden may be too old to run for president for a second term. 

Although Harwood agreed with the bald-headed stooge that Biden is old, he said it was false that Biden is incapable of doing his job. The studio cameraman had to bite the inside of his mouth to keep from LOLing, and four people at various airports that get CNN were embarrassed after they publicly urinated in their pants.

"Without taking a stand on whether he’s too old to run for reelection, let me run through what’s true, what’s false and what gets conflated. What’s true is the presidency is a hugely taxing job mentally and physically, and Joe Biden is old. He doesn’t talk or walk as smoothly as he once did. That suggests challenges, and when you get your 80s, which he’s about to do, the risk of health problems grows with every year," Harwood apparently joked, as he didn't need to mention how Joe fell up the stairs of the presidential jet three times before finding his balance. "On the other hand, what’s false is that he is not capable of doing the job right now or he’s not mentally in tune with the demands of the job. Anybody, any aide who engages with him or reporters, we can see this. The gears of his mind are working. That’s an issue pushed by right-wing media, but it’s not correct."

The honest question we should has is 'who is really pulling the Biden strings, because it sure isn't him. He can't even answer prearranged, simple questions without reading his notes or teleprompter, and when he does, he reads the directions put there by America's mystery president.

Harwood admitted however that Biden's approval rating is in the dumper at an anemic 39% [and likely to get worse].

"President Biden is in a weak political position right now. And because he’s old, people think he’s weak because he’s old. His biggest political problem right now is five dollar a gallon gas. Gas is not five dollars a gallon because Joe Biden is old. His legislative program is not stymied in Congress because Joe Biden is old. It’s because he got a 50-50 Senate, and one of the members of that Democratic Senate comes from a Trump +39 state," Harwood said as convincingly as he could.

Fun Fact: Biden is weak because he was never the brightest light in the kid's playroom. He graduated in the lower third of his law school class and lied about so many things, people have lost count. His memory is like a sieve and he gets angry and often verbally abusive to the public when they challenge him on any topic.

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"I think the other thing that we should point out is that younger more vibrant presidents like Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, also had tremendous political problems in their second years, got hammered in midterm elections, and they ended up politically healthy. So Joe Biden would look a little bit younger if he was at 50% than at 40%, but he’s not, so he’s going to have to deal with those stories for some time," Harwood concluded.

Sure, but they were no Joe Biden. 

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