Kamala Harris' speechwriter quits: makes his own speech to reporters

Jim Schortz, the speechwriter for Vice President Kamala Harris has resigned from the administration. He has joined the mass exodus and says that he plans to write for CNN's "Reliable Sauces," a cooking show that is slated to have its debut after replacing Brian Stelter when he is fired.

Schortz told reporters, "I am using my time, the time in the future which is mine, to pursue things that people often want to pursue but don't take the time, which is theirs, to do what needs they have to be done and fulfill them in the short time, the short time we all have.

"I will look back at my time with Vice President Harris and her uncanny ability to follow a train of thought that trains don't have but people do, fondly and with great sadness in parting as I pursue my time in the future creating new ideas and sauces for the comestible consuming community."

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And then Jim Schortz waved and began to laugh uproariously and closed the door of his Tesla and soundlessly drove away. The reporters all waved back.

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