The Taliban: Bringing back those crazy, hazy lazy days of terror

Even his mother has problems with that face

Sharia, or Islamic law, will once again be reinstituted in Afghanistan so don't steal anything or they'll cut off your hand; don't wear the wrong clothing, or they'll beat the crap out of you or even stone you to death [depending on how much skin you show, ladies], don't be gay or lesbian or they'll throw you off of high places; don't be Jewish, an atheist, apostate or Christian because it will be a problem for you, and don't play music because it's forbidden. Hey, don't even be a woman because you'll have no human rights, although they will treat you like decent cattle. 

And if you're a dude who thinks you're a woman, or vice-versa, you're dead meat.

Yes, Biden's boys are back in town and things are gonna change back to abnormal. There will be public executions galore, amputation of hands, and on those cold, dark nights, who knows, they might even light a human on fire for questioning the ideology of Islam.

The Associated Press interviewed Mullah Noorudding Turabi who told them to chill out from their outrage  over the Taliban's history of executions, which sometimes took place in crowded sports stadiums. The religious leader warned the reporters against interfering with the religious leaders.

“Everyone criticized us for the punishments in the stadium, but we have never said anything about their laws and their punishments,” Turabi told The Associated Press, speaking in Kabul, not a language but a city abandoned by the Biden administration, which left myriad Afghans to fend for themselves against the barbarians. “No one will tell us what our laws should be. We will follow Islam and we will make our laws on the Quran.”

And while some people pretend that Islam isn't how Turabi describes it, the truth is that he's correct. Sharia does call for amputations and killing of non believers, gays etc., etc. Some call Islamists religious fanatics. No, they are religiously orthodox Muslims who are following the precepts of the Qu'ran to the letter. 

To think the Taliban was going to rule with a kinder, softer approach is dangerously naive.

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Turabi is in his early 60s and was justice minister and head of the Ministry of Propagation of Virtue and Prevention of Vice — we know them as the religious police — during the Taliban’s previous rule. These guys would look for violators of sharia: women not fully covered in cloth coffins, for example. They would beat these women in public with whips until they bled, and that's if the women were lucky enough to only be beaten, not killed by stoning.

Executions of convicted murderers were usually done with a single shot to the head, carried out by the victim’s family, who also had the option of accepting “blood money” and allowing the culprit to live. For convicted thieves, the punishment was amputation of a hand. For those convicted of highway robbery, a hand and a foot were amputated. 

Trials and convictions were rarely public and the judiciary was weighted in favor of Islamic clerics, whose knowledge of the law was limited to religious injunctions and the stuff they found in their beards.

Allah only knows what the punishment will be for a man peeing in public.

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