Kamala eats pork on a stick and is convinced tradition says to wash it down with pig's blood

The following is satire.

Iowa -- Along with other Democratic hopefuls in the 2020 presidential campaign, Kamala Harris pandered to the Iowa crowd at the state fair, and dug right into their "traditions."

At least that's what they told her their traditions were.

While Cory "Angry Eyes" Booker pandered to corn growers, Harris didn't miss a beat and scarfed down a porkchop-on-a-stick, but when Jamie J. Johnson and Jimmy Joe Jones introduced themselves as "State Fair Officials" and Iowan historians to Senator Harris, little did she know what she was in fer. 

The two kidders from the Buckeye State made a five dollar bet. Jamie said he could convince Harris to wash down a porkchop-on-a-stick with a chilled glass of pig's blood on the rocks. Jimmy didn't think anyone could be that stupid and he was eager to claim his fiver. They shook hands.

"Well howdy, Senator Harris. Welcome to Iowa. I see you're enjoying that roasted porkchop. D'ya like it?"

"Mmfft . . . it's delicious," Harris replied.

"My name's Jamie J. Johnson and this here is my associate, Jimmy Joe Jones Seems like our mommas favored the "J's," Jamie said. Both Jimmy and me are Fair officials, officially speaking, that is. We were wondering why you're not drinking the state's State Fair beverage."

"Whass-that," chomp, chomp.

"We call it 'the red wine of the swine.' It's genuine pig's blood and there's nothing better to wash down the chops than the blood that helped it grow so delicious. Try it; you're gonna like it."

The senator from California took the glass Jamie had prepared and unconsciously grimaced, but quickly held the fluted champagne glass to her lips. "You're sure this is tradition," Harris asked.

"Absolutely, m'am. Take a sip. Taste the bouquet."

She drank the entire glass in one gulp, some of the red liquid trickled out from the corner of her lips.

"Pay up, Jimmy."


Please consider following this blog and feel free to click on the ads on this page. It costs nothing, and may just save your life. Or not.

Tweet