Tillerson dumped while dumping, Kelly says

According to John Kelly,  Secretary of State Rex Tillerson was fired as he sat on the throne, if you get my drift. Reporters at the White House were stunned when Chief of Staff John Kelly shared the embarrassing story.

One thing for certain, Kelly was pleased that Tillerson didn't raise a stink when he heard the news. He took it in stride and knows he'll bounce back from being dumped.

Kelly did his best to convince reporters that the administration wasn't planning to "clean house" or do any serious purging, but Tillerson kind of sucked as Secretary of State and tended to counter Trump's decisions and free wheeled on the Iran nuclear deal.

According to sources who remain anonymous because they don't want to become a notch on Trump's rather large belt, Kelly had a very awkward conversation with the now former secretary of state whereby he told Tillerson that President Trump would very likely can his sorry butt. The content of the conversation was mostly awkward not for the words, but for the fact that Tillerson was "dropping a deuce" at the time.

Kelly told reporters that Tillerson was suffering from a stomach bug during a diplomatic trip to Africa and was shooting hot rockets into the Delaware when Kelly broke the news to him.

Sources couldn't believe that Kelly would make such a scatalogical pun, even off the record, to a room filled with reporters and White House leakers. [Did I just say 'leakers'?]

Tillerson will officially leave the State Department at the end of the month.

Some people go out with a bang. Some go out with a whimper. Tillerson will go out with the flushing sound of a commode forever in everyone's mind.


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