Hinckley freed by Democratic president

Williamsburg, Va., -- John Hinckley couldn't have gotten a better deal if he was being held in Gitmo. Well, maybe Gitmo, but after being held in a mental hospital for 35 years for shooting President Ronald Reagan, Hinkley is being freed.

"It isn't like he's a racist Republican," Jimmy Gilmore, a man on the street, said. "The guy shot Reagan. I can understand why--he was frustrated with how he treated Russia."

Jimmy Gilmore
Baton Balancer

The real story, however, is that Hinckley shot Mr. Reagan because in his sick mind, he thought that would impress actress Jodie Foster. It not only didn't impress her, she got a restraining order on the lunatic.

A hospital spokesperson for the District of Columbia Department of Mental Health said that all patients scheduled to leave St. Elizabeth's Hospital had been discharged and the failed assassin was among them.

A federal judge ruled in July that 61-year-old Hinckley is not a danger to himself or any Democrats, and can live full-time at his aged mother's home in Williamsburg. He plans to help with the cooking and cleaning, and volunteered to keep her "Help I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up" bracelet fully charged. 

Hinckley's longtime attorney Barry Levine says that he believes Hinckley will be a "citizen about whom even Republicans can be proud."

Mr. Hinckley spoke to the press and said, "The beaming of the moon upon the sea of blood will rise as it does over the souls of the night."


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