Al Qaeda's planning major terror attack, promises to get the West

The Islamic group calling itself Al Qaeda has once again set up an HQ in southern Afghanistan where it will plan major terrorist attacks against the infidel West, The Daily Telegraph wrote.

The group of fighters for Allah had been hiding in Pakistan's tribal belt for over a decade but have now moved back into southern Afghanistan now that we and the British moved out at the end of 2014, proving that given a vacuum, Al Qaeda still sucks.

One Afghan official who will remain anonymous due to his extremely long string of names the first of which is Muhammad, said, "Al Qaeda has taken advantage of the withdrawal of Western troops to re-establish its headquarters in southern Afghanistan. Now they are back the will be determined to use Afghanistan as a base to prepare new attacks against Western targets."

Target believes the reason for the attacks is due to their liberal transgender bathroom policy which, in Islamic states is punishable by death. Other than that, Target had no comment.

A US drone strike destroyed Taliban leader Mullah Akhtar Mansour in Pakistan. The strike was denounced by Pakistan who said it was a violation of their religious beliefs to kill a jihadist. This is why they hid Osama bin Laden, they said. "He was a good Muslim," an anonymous source told The Telegraph about Osama.

AQ terrorist cells are operating around Kandahar, a place regarded as the spiritual home of the Taliban, AQ's closest closet ally and supporter in the region.

The return of AQ is a major embarrassment to both the US and the UK, but the head of the US is too narcissistic to feel embarrassed and couldn't care a fiddler's fart about winning the war there. and the head of the UK still believes Islam is the religion of peace.


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