Iran the marathon

Today is supposedly the day that the Iranian nuke talks will come to an end and the world will be a safer place than it was when Ronald Reagan told Gorbachev to tear down the wall.

I can picture Lurch Kerry acquiescing to Iran's demands: "We must be permitted to practice our religious freedom as we have done for decades. We must be allowed our morning prayers and our heartfelt chant of 'Death to Israel. Death to America.' It is, how do you Westerners say, um, how we roll."

Kerry: "We respect that and do not wish to keep you from practicing your religion. All we ask is that you use discretion and keep the frenzy levels of the faithful at a manageable level. It's at a point where Israelis and we Americans don't think that your people are just kidding."

Zarif (Iran): "No. We must be permitted our frenzy and sanctions must immediately be lifted and money damages paid to Iran for all the unnecessary harm you have caused us."

Kerry: "I think we can live with that."

Zarif (to self): Not if we have our way. 

Zarif to Kerry: "Excellent. Now regarding unannounced inspections; you would never, in the West, go into someone's home and inspect their basement for hidden schmutz. Iran is our home and our nuclear sites are like our basement--a place where we make things . . . things like electricity and such. You are asking to come to my house, go into my basement and embarrass me and my family if you don't like the way we are experimenting to make this useful thing. It is woefully wrong."

Kerry: "I see your point and it is a point well taken. What if I agree to call you a week in advance before the inspection team arrives?"

Zarif: " A month, minimum. "

Kerry: "Okay, that works for me. So we will call a month in advance and tell you that we are going to inspect a site of our choosing."

Zarif: "No, we will choose the site. It is our house you are visiting. Don't be so rude."

Kerry: "Sorry. So can I tell Barack that we have a deal?"

Zarif: "Will you buy me dinner?"

Kerry: "It will be my honor."

Zarif: "Allahu Akbar."

Kerry: "Right back atya, Mr. Z

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