Monday, March 17, 2014

10 Ways to Distinguish Nancy Pelosi from Hillary Clinton

1. Nancy cannot keep her hands still when she speaks; Hillary cannot speak without hanging a far left hand turn and a lie. Both women smile when they lie, which occurs when they speak, but Hillary's eyes are slightly more maniacal than Nancy's, but Nancy's are more vacuous.

2. Nancy pretends to represent the interests of her California constituents by seeking waivers for them from Obamacare. Hillary pretends to have actually accomplished innumerable gains for the United States when she traveled as many miles as there are dollars of our national debt, serving as Secretary of State.

3. Nancy enjoys the company of men. Hillary enjoys the company of women and weak men.

4. Nancy would do anything for Barack Obama; Hillary would do anything to Barack Obama.

5. Nancy believes that she represents every liberal in the world. Hillary believes she represents every woman in the world. Nancy is correct; Hillary is delusional.

6. Nancy wants congress to pass liberal bills without reading them first. Hillary never wrote a bill that needed to be passed. 

7. Nancy may or may not be sleeping with Harry Reid. Hillary may or may not be sleeping with Huma Abedin. She's definitely not sleeping with Bill, who may or may not be sleeping around.

8. Nancy would make a horrible president. Hillary makes a horrible person.

9. As New York State Senator, Hillary accomplish as much as she did as Secretary of State. As the minority leader of the House of Representatives, Nancy has managed to throw more alcohol-soaked, in-flight parties, using US Air Force jets, at taxpayers' expense, than any other liberal. 

10. In her leisure, Nancy spends her time at home wearing simple house dusters. In her leisure, Hillary spends her time traveling around the world at taxpayers' expense.


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